King of the Swamp, Guardian of the Flooded Fortress, Lord of his Domain, Ruler of all he surveys, Champion of the people, Keeper of the five oaths. First of his name, second of his other name, he who is without middle initial or mercy, destroyer of all who would question his rightful rule or look at him askance. Eater of the vanquished, Devourer of the indolent, Guzzler of the non-committal. Bestower of wrathful opprobrium and fount of most wondrous beneficence, all glory to him and his mace! Holy basher of toads, not frogs, but really what are toads anyway? like worse frogs right? uglier too. Smartest creature in the land, really clever, like that Einstein guy but more handsome and- Okay, hit the word count.