Dragging my taut ball-sack slowly and ever so gently, across your mom's forehead while my arthritis ridden hands maneuver a masterful dunk upon your goal....

The aforementioned passage above is a sworn promise to those who challenge me on The Pitch.

P.S. I'll ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ report you and Phil will be notified.

Good day and farewell.

-Alexander Hamilton Carson