If you joined my Barotrauma lobby I’d stop repairing the submarine just to watch you walk through the airlock in thigh highs. The pressure at 6,000 meters isn’t what makes me implode.

You are.

Wei

my beloved

Game battles await us!

🎁

You don’t understand. You’re not just a cute femboy. You’re a walking violation of the Geneva Convention. Every time you post a pic, my brain blue screens. I look at you and forget what taxes are. I’d let you step on me in fishnets and say “thank you” in three languages I don’t even speak.

You're not cute. You're biological warfare. You're the reason I can't sit in VC without getting flustered. Your voice alone could get me court-martialed.

I don’t wanna date you. I don’t even wanna kiss you. I wanna be your chair. I wanna be the hoodie you wear when you're cold. I wanna be the lollipop in your mouth while you giggle and ruin lives on mic.

You're the final boss of twinks. The forbidden archetype. The downfall of nations.