Recent reviews by Cipher

Crack, Cocaine,
this addiction brings me pain

Yet I come back all the same,
I hate this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game

You aren't getting this for the gameplay

You aren't getting this for the story

You're getting this because the shipgirls you've resonated with in the mobile version of the game are now here in 3D, with a photo mode to boot

That is to say, this game makes a nice diorama for all the hapless shipgirls you collect.

Have you ever experienced the physical and emotional pain of getting filled with copious amounts of lead, while falling out of a car, and landing onto a comically placed bush of Stinging Nettles?

No?

Then do I have a game for you

This review is pretty much based off what I played back when it was on the Xbox 360 (I managed to get the game to run for 40 minutes on the pc version until it crapped out and refused to launch)

• Interesting free form parkour-based gameplay, jumping, climbing, and using buildings as mere stepping stones offers a fun experience, especially when you finish upgrading your movement abilities.
  
• 3 zones to use as a litterbox for your ever-upgrading abilities.
  
• The shape-shifting mechanic itself is quite nice, pretty much a carbon copy from the first game but hey, if it ain’t broke don't fix it.

• Voice acting, it's hard to get immersed in a video game world if the actors themselves aren't immersed in the world, it offers an uncanny experience due to the questionable delivery of some actors, but Heller himself takes the brunt of it where 50% of his vocabulary seems to consist of grunting like an animal, fun...
  
• The story, so it's a typical story of revenge, that's it, Mercer makes his appearance as the antagonist this time because reasons? I don't know, they needed someone evil so they figured "Hey, why not reuse the protagonist from the first game and make him the villain?" Whatever the case, you're not gonna be playing this for the story, you're playing this because you want to spread a metric crap ton of mayhem for fun.
  
• Combat, at first the combat starts out fine, until you play for more than an hour in which case it becomes very, very tedious, you'll end up noticing that most fights boil down to slapping enemies until they die, or pickup up one of the many op weapons that occasionally drop to do half the job for you.
  
• Optimisation, it's a hit or miss with some people, but I seem to have attracted the latter because I only managed to get to 40 minutes before the entire game refused to launch again, so that's great.

I know it seems I'm bashing the game mostly, but ultimately, it's a decent game, if you want to destroy things mindlessly then by all means, get it, this game provides destruction in spades, but if it's a good meaningful story you want, then you'd best look elsewhere. Also, I'd also see if it's compatible with your machine, trust me nothings hurts more than dropping money on a game that doesn't work.

I'm not ashamed when I say that I spent most of my hours using the model viewer to take a gander at Jeanne's holy thighs. Oh but the game part is good as well. And the DLC is practically god tier (Feeding the aforementioned viewer time). Absolutely recommended!

I've never been the biggest fan of open world RPG's, mostly because I have a tendency to get bored VERY easily, but from what I've experienced so far, this game is by far the most immersive game I've played to date. CD Projekt Red have really hit the nail on the head with this beautifully crafted masterpiece. Being the sequel to Assassins' of Kings, it had something to live up to in terms of reputation, although the Witcher 2 wasn't exactly my cup of tea, it certainly was an enjoyable experience from the short period of time that I have played it, if a bit clunky in terms of movement. However, the Witcher 3 exceeded my expectations, usually I stick to fast paced games, I practically represent the typical FPS junkie in that regard. However, there was something mystical about the Witcher 3 that kept me glued to the screen, perhaps it was the incredible presentation, and visuals to die for that got me interested. Whilst the story is a bit cliche (And I mean that in the nicest of ways) the characters were very well articulated and designed, again, having played only a little bit of the Witcher 2, and having skipped the first game, I didn't really feel as invested into them as say a more veteran player, but they were very believeable in their motives and desires further raising the level of immersion. The side quests and the world just in general has plenty of content, I doubt that you'd run out of things to do unless you get bored easily (Like me). And I have to give praise for the very well designed landscape, I have never seen a world so well rendered in a video game, hills and crests have a natural topography to them, giving the impression that you're in an actual world and not a polygonal mess. However, despite it's more than deserved praise there are a few sticklers that do take away from the experience a tiny bit. The clunky movements from The Witcher 2 make it's return, with combat taking the brunt of it. Against a few enemies this isn't really noticeable, but when you start causing trouble that's when things start to take a turn for the worst. But honestly, barring the clunky combat, everything else works in tandem to provide a unique and beautiful gaming experience. If you haven't already, purchase this game, it's an experience you won't regret.

I chose this path... Now, I'm nothing but a shell of the man I once was.

Hey look at this cool Warframe, what was that? It would take a week of grinding just to get it? Well sign me and the rest of the community up. Unless you have Platinum, in that case you can just get whatever you want. Oh wait, what was that? You have to grind to level up to reach the mr rank it requires just to buy it? Well screw it then. No matter how hard you try to avoid the excessive grinding this game offers, it tries every step of the way to make you bend over and take it. So you'd best prepare yourself for the grind, or suffer the consequences. But I still love it anyway. This review sounds more like a hate speech, but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, even Destiny had less of a grind. But overall, still a fun and awesome experience. If you have a lot of free time.

10/10 Would grind again. And again. And again. And... You get the drill.