Matt: At the beginning of that paragraph, I thought you were talking about piccalilli. [the others laugh] I was hoping for a story about toast, or sandwiches.
Gary: F***, who puts piccalilli on toast?!
Tom: I was going to say! There's something wrong with you if you're putting piccalilli on toast! Never mind the mishearing. Never mind how quickly we've moved through this. The hell are you doing putting piccalilli on toast?
Gary: You might as well put mustard in your eyes! It's a horrible thing to do!
Matt: [sheepishly] I've had mustard on toast before.
Chris: Mmm.
Gary: WHAT.
Chris: Nothing wrong with mustard on toast.
Matt: It's like having sweet chilli on toast, or...
Gary: [in horror and disbelief] Just mustard?
Chris: [thoughtfully] Hmm...
Matt: And butter as well!
Chris: And probably black pepper, if it was me.
Gary: Oh fine! We got the butter, that's fine! [head darting from side to side] Which mustard, English? French? What?
Chris and Matt: [incredulously] English!
Tom: I like how you're doing this tennis thing here.
Gary: [head darting] We must know! We must know!
Chris: Brannan's terrified. He's encountered things he doesn't understand.
Tom: You've opened Brannan's eyes to a whole new area of condiment-based toast.
Matt: Have you never had condiments on toast before?
Gary: No! Er, er... I've had cheese and brown sauce.
Matt: No, no, that's cheese.
Chris: Yeah. We're talking tomato sauce sandwich here.
Gary: WHAT?!
Matt: Tartare sauce sandwich!
Tom: [Spit Take] Urrrghhh.
Gary: [like he's just found a months-old corpse] Aaah! Jesus! Horseradish?!
Matt: [eagerly] Oh! Horseradish on toast.
Gary: [does an Aside Glance at the camera]
Chris: Forget the toast. Out of the jar, with a spoon.
Gary: [Breaking the Fourth Wall] Right! Behind the unseeing eye ahead of me. If you've ev... it's not just these two, if you've actually put a condiment — and only a condiment, on toast, e-mail in, write in, send a telegram, or a pigeon, or your butler or something.
Tom: Oh wait, no, to be fair I've had sandwich pickle on toast before.
Matt: ♫ Piccalilli! ♫
Tom: Oh no, hold on Gary. That's a good point.
Matt: It's like having gherkins on toast with mayo.
Gary and Tom: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Gary: You can't say "it's just like..."
Chris: That sounds pretty good. I've never had that.
Tom: [desperately trying to bring the lads back on topic] If I can... If I can drag this back.
Chris: Good luck, mate!
Gary: That's like having...for f***'s sake, that's like having Yop on a baguette...I mean you're just putting... substances together...
Tom: [forcefully] The Newgate novel. If I can bring this back...