Bonum Gautama劳伦
Pornelius Hubert   Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States
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50
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To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

</3
Recent Activity
40.8 hours past 2 weeks
2,238 hrs on record
last played on Jun 6
Dota 2
Support
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Screenshots 2 Review 1
189 hrs on record
last played on Jun 3
The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth
Isaac
100 XP
Achievement Progress   210 of 637
+205
97 hrs on record
last played on Apr 10
ELDEN RING
Achievement Progress   31 of 42
+26
Screenshots 9 Review 1
Comments
Bonum Gautama劳伦 May 5 @ 6:39pm 
added! :steamhappy:
xz May 5 @ 10:39am 
pls add me bro
Malum Apr 8 @ 8:27pm 
Japan would NEVER do this

I just learned about what Japan did in WW2 in class.. I've been shaking and crying ever since.. This isn't the sugoi Japan I know.. This can't.. This can't be real!! JAPAN WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!!! I KNOW FROM ANIME THAT JAPAN WOULD NEVER DO THIS.. Nandemo NANDEMO NANDEMO
Malum Apr 8 @ 8:26pm 
THE JOKE IS SEX!

get it 😍😍 the joke is that 🤯🤯🤯🤯 the woman is about to take her shirt off🤯🤯😰😼😼😼😼 but the video 📼📼📼 cuts ✂️✂️✂️to something else,2,2,2,1,?1?1!1!1!1!1😅😅😅😅😅😅😅the joke, is sex!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😼😼😼😼😼😼 i cant believe op trolled🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌me like that!1!1!1 i literally had my ♥♥♥♥ 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦💦in my hand ✊✊✊✊✊✊what a silly goober‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️‼️‼️‼️❕‼️❕‼️‼️‼️‼️❗️❗️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥❗️‼️❗️❗️‼️‼️‼️🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩💥
Malum Mar 26 @ 10:52pm 
f-♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥!? ♥♥♥♥?!? *kinuha yung sabon* i-ito yung nanakit sayo? *hinampas sa pader yung sabon* d-don't h-hurt m-my p-princess! h-hindi niya k-kailangan m-maligo k-kung ayaw n-niya!! *sinuntok yung pader* I- I k-know t-this is m-my f-fault. don't l- leave m-me *cry silently*
Soda☦ Aug 25, 2023 @ 12:26pm 
+rep nice player