*slams open stall door* Hey, buddy, you can't just waltz in here and use the bathroom whenever you want. What? No, I work here. I just need to verify your gender real quick...What do you mean, "why"? Look, I don't make the rules around here, I'm just doing my job... Yep. No, uh, please don't do that. Um, if you could just whip it out real quick and--oh, uh, ok, thank you. That wasn't so hard, was it? Now, if you don't mind, I need to verify not only visually but also using err...tactile means. It's just, they have them fake ♥♥♥♥♥ nowadays, see? And we can't have any women in the bathroom, it's the new rules y'see? Hey, hey, calm down. I told you, I work here, I'm the men's bathroom attendant...So come on now, don't make this harder than it needs to be. I just need you to let me touch it, and give it a quick squeeze. That's all. Just one squeeze. OK? Is that so much to ask?

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgams started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.

What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sprm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dih was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.

It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.

I remember when I was a lad I went to my favorite porn site only to see the links were all blue meaning they had been clicked on. I realized this meant my dad had gone there first. The fact we liked the same porn meant we had a strong bond. I went and I got him from the basement. I showed him the website and said "We like the same porn daddy. Look, you came first and I am now going to look at the same pictures you looked at". For the only time in my life he hugged me and said "I love you boy".

He left and I looked at every picture he had looked at and only those pictures. As I was working at it I heard a noise and looked. He was standing in the doorway with a smile tears streaking down his face. I said "This ♥♥♥♥ for you daddy" and he started clapping in rhythm as I exploded with wild abandonment all over the wall

I was at my aunties funeral and I touched her boob by accident but that ♥♥♥♥ still felt so squishy and soft and at that moment I was harder than a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rock. I told my parents that I wanted some alone time with her and say my final words when in reality i was feeling her up in her casket and my ♥♥♥♥ was just bursting with nut inside her tits felt so soft bruh

> Meet co-worker
> She said "hi"
> mentally ♥♥♥ instantly, she will be mine
> 3 months go by, her stomach is bigger
> she must know I'm into inflation
> Set a bear trap to bring her home
> 3 more months go by
> Co-worker has giant belly
> Nose bleeding
> Consider asking if she's into vore
> She disappears for 9 months
> No belly, talking about having a child
> Wtf

I hate women at my workplace

warum kommentiert eine frau auf deinem profil, ich dachte immer du hast angst vor vaginas