Ron Swanson

There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.

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Dfox Feb 27, 2023 @ 6:15am

“When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”

OREO Jul 8, 2021 @ 10:40pm

yes sir

howff Mar 30, 2019 @ 8:33pm

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.

xxx_DuELR_xxx Mar 19, 2016 @ 6:19pm

I’ve been quite open about this around the office: I don’t want this parks department to build any parks, because I don’t believe in government. I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese.