By now, the mind altering serum I paid to have added to the water supply should be kicking in, so you all should (hopefully) be a bit more receptive to this news than you would otherwise be. The presence of your eyeballs on this text is proof enough that the PCP and LSD mixture is working its way through your collective, rented brain cell.
Or you've just died, and I can collect the insurance policy in your name. Either way, we're winning big.

Anyhow, onto the news:
Last year, you may recall how Dispenz0r's Fun Server[dfs.tf] sadly closed its doors forevermore, yet we didn't do anything about the community logo on the bottom of our page. This is because I am a lazy fucking cunt.

However, I was approached last week by a fellow named Dispenz0r who handed me a suspicious zip file. All he said to me was "HE IS LEGEND OF SERVER" and disappeared into a white van that subsequently exploded. I can only surmise the bioluminescent federal agents were in hot pursuit, as the only thing in that zip file was the entirety of the DFS source code and assets, several digitized clones of various DFS community staff and a zip bomb.

There was also a note that said I now own Dispenz0r's Fun Server but who the fuck cares about that? It's not even near as interesting to the average Red Sun user.

And while I am thankful for the new selection of free e-janitorial labour (they do it for free after all), we do need more money to run this. A lot more money. Machines that can handle truly emergent consciousnesses aren't cheap, after all.

So, I present to you, as the new owner of Dispenz0r's Fun Server, in collaboration with the (digitized remains of) DFS legacy staff: The all-old Dystopian's Fun Server.

You can once again experience the dead remains of a once-beloved community server before I go in to monetize the absolute and everliving fuck out of this thing for every last dollar, euro and shekel these bits and bytes are worth! It's what everyone does now, what with the cost of living and all.

But be quick: this is only going to last for a day, because that's when we're going in and cannibalizing every last file for our own personal and exclusive use. That includes the Hat Kid model. Got to steal a few rolls of copper before pissing off the Romanians, y'know?

You can join in on the fun here: steam://connect/51.210.222.122:27015

now go away, I need money to help pay for PCP and ketamine

Last year’s Eggolocation event left us with an egg-traordinary amount of eggs. We thought we’d solved the problem by stashing them away in the Janitor’s Closet, but our janitor, being a responsible citizen, decided to ring up the local health department. They mentioned something about the eggs being a "major health risk" and "needing to be disposed of immediately". We’re not entirely sure what that means, but it sounds like the perfect excuse for another egg hunt.

From the 28th of March to the 1st of April, eggs will appear on all maps. Collecting them will earn you Battle Points and items, including crates.

This is a short mini-event with no new items. Enjoy, while we work on bigger stuff in the background.

Some would say you'd have to be strong or retarded to be the ringleader of Team Fortress 2's equivalent of window licking morons. I say: why not both? Why not enjoy having the immense fortitude to run this shitshow on wheels for 9 years, along with acknowledging the abused, single time-shared brain cell this entire community seems to operate on?

So, for the entire day (2024-03-14 UTC):

• If you log in, you'll get the strongest badge for being present during our 9th anniversary.
  
• For today only, Ultra Rapid Fire coins are on sale. Grab 'em while you can, because the next time they'll be on sale is when the booze wears off for long enough to remember we have these.
  
• Warp Zone ticket drops will now be doubled until the end of the event. Farm more crates, spend more BP, Get crushed by inconsolable debt all for the sake of virtual items. What's not to like?
  
• HUGE ASS FUCKING SALE featuring fuck knows how many items?
  
• And we have a nice profile to purchase as well, again - only for today. Wave your micro-epenis about and tell others how cool you are for having a profile item on a homoerotic bengali streetshitting forum.

And yes, you can use these to abuse the ever living fuck out of the last few days of the ongoing event. Now shut up and give me your fucking money, I have fumos to buy. THE STRONGEST FUMO in particular. Pay no attention to the Steam Sale.

Things have been very hectic behind the scenes. I had planned on letting you know about "the news" but life is a massive bitch and I've been stuck dealing with no end of personal bullshit.

Don't want to go into any detail but I'll have something once I'm not doing hospital runs or buried under work.

peace

Sometimes, you just have to go back a bit to when things were a bit easier. Unfortunately for us, it was still just as insufferable as it was today.

Introducing the Warp Zone, an event that won't make you miss the past because sometimes the new thing is better. Shocker, I know.
Check it out at https://redsun.tf/warpzone but be quick, as the event will end on the 17th of March at 23:59 UTC.

Now go away and have fun, a concept that's as foreign as files and folders to modern day phone and tablet users.

Keep your eyes out in the coming hours/days/weeks/whenever for a second announcement. It's important, I promise.