Some would say you'd have to be strong or retarded to be the ringleader of Team Fortress 2's equivalent of window licking morons. I say: why not both? Why not enjoy having the immense fortitude to run this shitshow on wheels for 9 years, along with acknowledging the abused, single time-shared brain cell this entire community seems to operate on?

So, for the entire day (2024-03-14 UTC):

• If you log in, you'll get the strongest badge for being present during our 9th anniversary.
  
• For today only, Ultra Rapid Fire coins are on sale. Grab 'em while you can, because the next time they'll be on sale is when the booze wears off for long enough to remember we have these.
  
• Warp Zone ticket drops will now be doubled until the end of the event. Farm more crates, spend more BP, Get crushed by inconsolable debt all for the sake of virtual items. What's not to like?
  
• HUGE ASS FUCKING SALE featuring fuck knows how many items?
  
• And we have a nice profile to purchase as well, again - only for today. Wave your micro-epenis about and tell others how cool you are for having a profile item on a homoerotic bengali streetshitting forum.

And yes, you can use these to abuse the ever living fuck out of the last few days of the ongoing event. Now shut up and give me your fucking money, I have fumos to buy. THE STRONGEST FUMO in particular. Pay no attention to the Steam Sale.