Illuminati

Griffin Brandt, a local loony was put on trial recently for stealing a large quantity of tomato juice. Griffin tragically passed away Tuesday night after his court ordered death sentence, because his original sentence of making an "Unturned" server never came to fruition. Griffin stated later that he is "now dead" and has "moved on to the big pail of tomato juice in the sky." However, there are recent allegations towards Griffin that he may not have actually died. A local conspiracy theorist, Alex Robinson, recently claimed that he, "has damning evidence that Griffin isn't actually dead." It is unknown when Alex plans on releasing his findings right now, also saying that, "the tomato juice Griffin stole is hunting me down for answers." But one question still must be answered: How does pineapple really work as a natural meat tenderizer? Follow this story with us as it unfolds.