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At any rate, yeah MMO's can be a mixed bag. It's hard to have everyone be in the story in a MMO. After all having a million chosen ones to save the universe doesn't have quite the same impact as the chosen one. And how people play a game varies a lot, only you get to see it publicly in an MMO.
I used tom play more multiplayer games, but I don't any more. I've had lots of good experiences though over the years. I tend to remember them better than bad experiences.
Every once in a while I think about playing WoW classic, I could roll a priest, get my heal bars set up. But, alas, it'll never quite be the same if I did, so why bother?
If yes you're looking for servers that does role playing. I suggest garry mods rp servers, world of warcraft RP server, or seek groups that does RP for said game want to play.
But if you meant like everyone part of the story, no one the chosen one, then most are not like that, it's a bit hard come across such games for MMO, I would suggest world of warcraft for raids, but story still cater to chosen one, so if want a game where there no chosen one, looking for game where basically make own story, or story to reward group which not many like that because most people rather play game, and move on instead of wait for group whenever everyone ready to play, which raids is like that but it's planned, while what you seek isn't planned, but rather whenever someone feels like it.
I date hate them. I had terrific times play AOE 1, 2 and Unreal Tournament with a select group of friends. Some of my best times in gaming. Today though, they are not for me.
In this case online multiplayer. You are right, there is a difference. Sorry about that.
Elder Scrolls online, time of writing: 14,204 players.
Skyrim (Elder Scrolls V), time of writing: 22,115 players.
Bear in mind that the first is actually a much more modern release than the latter. And yet... see above.
Which is why most allegid "popular" MMO's make absolutely sure that this cannot happen if you don't want it to. Because... it's a sales model and players = money.
Which is also why I sincerely doubt that MMO's are really all that popular because most of them have one very nasty flaw in common: they're build with the intend to keep you playing. And they'll do everything within their power to make that happen.
For example by denying you the satisfaction of ever becoming so powerful that you'll be able to "just" whack yourself through an entire horde of hostiles which were at one time major threats to you. Can't have that sense of being Bruce God allmighty because ... you need to keep on playing vs. always going back to "that" area. So we're level scaling: no matter what you do your enemies will always be better than you. And you'll mostly be fighting AI's :P
... making me always wonder what the use of getting better weapons and armor and equipment is because... the enemies will level up with me anyway. So I can just as easily ignore all those upgrades and continue playing. Which actually works; I did this in "ESO" and quickly lost interest.
I felt in the minority here. Glad to know I am not the only one. All I hear is MMO this and MMO that. It was kind of depressing really.
Although if you look hard enough you can find a tiny clan here'n there that actually do stay in character as much as possible.
Thank FSM there's a plethora of other genres to play, including online ones.