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Performance issues are of course an accepted reason for a refund. Be aware though, that all games on Steam do have a list of minimum system requirements on their shop page. Maybe you should pay closer attention to that; and if you still consistently fall short despite exceeding those requirements, there might be something wrong with your computer.
The only games i've refunded this year i believe was 2 steamvr games. I know a lot of VR games can have poor optimization or poor handling.
"Multiple" times can mean different things. If you bought 5 games on sale and decided you didn't like two or three of them, that most likely won't be considered refund abuse unless you already had a number of recent refunds.
If you bought 10 games over the course of 2 weeks and refunded 9 of them, you're probably going to be flagged for refund abuse.
There's no set number. There's no hard-and-fast rule you can stick to. Just refund sparingly and try not to buy games you're likely to refund in the first place. You'll be ok.
Valve will let you know if they think you are abusing the refund system. Depending on your actions you be sent warning messages, each one increasing in severity. If you have not received a single message yet, you are fine and you can keep up with your spending/refunding habits. If you get the first warning it is probably time to cool off.
Until that happens you are absolutely fine and should have no issue with doing refunds (with moderation).
so you are just probing for numbers. there are none.
the refund request responses will mention if you are oversteppin it .. before the ban hammer hits.