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no.
If you only have say 10 friends, tho, of course you will be able to remember them all on your own and thus know if someone has defriended you :)
but otherwise, ya there's not a built-in way that Steam tells you who your "ex" friends are.
You can check your inventory history via http://steamcommunity.com/my/inventoryhistory
Report the user through the profile there. Don't go posting profile links here, that's not allowed.
If you've traded with someone, there is a record of who it was and a link to their profile in your trade history - you don't need to be friends with them to get that information.
But then, if you're not trading inside the provided safe methods - you'll have a bad time sooner or later anyway.
Sounds reasonable. If people don't know how to work with the trade URL, friends are the only way to get a trade done. She could have removed you from the list right after completing the trade; no idea why she waited. But then again, maybe she didn't know, or forgot about it and was reminded when Steam notified her of the completion of the trade.
Not an official Steam feature though