Remember when back in the days AAA games were creative? Not trying to say that modern games are bad or something, it's just... You know. With much bigger money involved companies started to take less risks. Which led to... K, let's just admit it – we know exactly what we'll get from yet another SONY's or Ubisoft's open world game long before we start playing. Back in the days, with much more freedom, developers used to stick with their imagination, not the market and publisher's bull. And some companies? They sure knew how to surprise us.

One of such companies was Bullfrog Productions. Making god simulators, mixing things like real-time strategy and first-person shooter genres, letting us play as a bad guy long before it became mainstream, etc. No idea why bullfrog on their logo was pictured inside the box. They did their very best to think outside one, thanks to which most of their games were fresh and memorable. One of such games was Syndicate. No, not the 2012 game from creators of Enclave and Chronicles of Riddick. The original. Which was a real-time tactical game in a juicy cyberpunk setting, where we controlled one of the heavily armed crime syndicates and confronted not only the police forces (f*ck the police comin' straight from the underground~ 🎵), but the other syndicates too. Why am I telling you all that? Well, because what we've got here is a nod to good ol' Syndicate. And it becomes obvious since the very first minutes.

Like Syndicate, Re-Legion takes place in a cyberpunk setting. Except instead of criminal syndicates, we've got... religious cult. Got it? Got it? Religion? Re-Legion? I know, I know, it's stupid. I'll return to that later. For now let's just keep in mind that we've got ourselves Syndicate-like game about some futuristic cults. And you know what? It's the very best thing about this game. I mean, come on! Think about it. Some fanatics who praise augmentations because they think those come from God? Maybe it's just me and my weird hobbies (studying religions is one of those) but personally, I find all that extremely hilarious. Our main character here is Elion (from El Elyon, Highest of Gods?), who'll go around city and convert citizens into his religion because why the heck not. Right?

If your first thought was Age of Empires, you're correct. A lot of wololoing (it's a word now) involved in the process. You can convert your opponents, while your opponents can convert your guys. Not only people, actually, buildings too. That's pretty much the entire gameplay here. You enter the map and Wololo, wololo! Ayo-yoyo!~ Like I said, though, it's not Age of Empires this game was really inspired by but Syndicate. Think Syndicate with a group led by an Age of Empires' priest. That'll be it. Doesn't sound bad, right? If something, it sounds rather cool, even though yeah, all that wololo stuff can get rather messy. Still, it does sound good. So, what's with the thumb down you may ask?

Well, unfortunately, Re-Legion is one of those projects that didn't really turn dreams into reality. Let me quote Sir Terry here: “Everyone has thousands of ideas, all the damn time. Some are terrible, most mediocre, a few amazing. But we have to write them down or they don’t count for anything.” Unfortunately to us, Re-Legion is another one of those ideas that just kept being one. Without becoming a thing. I mean, when it's about making a good game? Concept alone just isn't enough. A good game needs blood and bones. Things that make it interesting to play. Does Re-Legion has that? Nope.

First of all, this game is short. Aside from skirmish mode called Holy Wars (which won't add much playtime thanks for being too dumb and too limited), we've got only 9 missions. How many missions PC version of the original Syndicate had? It had 50. In 19-freakin'-93. Re-Legion (that came out 26 years later) has only 9. Ba-dum-tsss... And no, those are not big and complicated missions you may expect from 2019 game. Those are just tiny little maps with some very basic goals. OK, OK, Syndicate didn't get a lot of mission variety either. Usually we were supposed to either capture somebody or eliminate baddies. AKA those who aren't, well, us. But.

The original Syndicate had sh*t. You know. The equipment. Portable medkits, access cards, energy shields (that were still vulnerable to slow blades... or was that another franchise?), time bombs, scanners... It even had so-called persuadertrons, which, I think, may have given Re-Legion's creators their wololo idea. Now, what about our game here? Well, it doesn't need any persuadertrons, that much is clear, but come on! It has nothing! Nothing! Instead, we've got StarCraft-like UI (which feels ancient BTW) and some StarCraft-like upgrades. Or WarCraft III if you want, since Elion can unlock his own abilities (called dogmas). The abilities thing is rather funny, since you can select your own religion and customize it the way you want but again, we're very limited in our actions and the smell of mold in unbearable.

Talking 'bout StarCraft BTW. Kerrigan called and said Ice Code Games are pigs. Why? Well, because of just how much copy / pasted design we've got here. Naturally, we've got StarCraft, but honestly, Ice Code copied a lot of retro stuff. Clive Barker's Hellraiser, Star Wars... Even the final “boss” here is Mr. Big from 1988 Williams' arcade game NARC (remember that one? You can actually see kids playing it in 1990 Ninja Turtles movie). He's not called that in Re-Legion, of course. He's called Mr. Rizen. * Sigh * Yeah. It's that bad.

But maybe, just maybe, this game has one of those groundbreaking stories? You know. Those tiny little indie games that aren't really that great gameplay-wise, yet blow your mind with what they have to offer with storytelling? Still no. Ice Code Games made one the most common mistakes out there – their writers didn't take themselves seriously enough. In a way, it's like starting a relationship when you're a kid. You don't have enough experience with that kind of stuff, so you just make stupid jokes with no apparent reason. Writers can be like that too. And with Re-Legion being the first experience in video game writing for all three Ice Code writers... Let's just say the result here is something to be expected. The best thing about story is that we've got choices. At certain points we can choose faith of some characters / groups. Yet with no depth at all and no complicated story, it doesn't feel satisfying enough. And yes, jokes. Those stupid, stupid jokes... one of which is this game's title.

So, what's in the conclusion? In conclusion, I must say that Re-Legion just... doesn't worth your time. Can't say it's completely unplayable or broken (even though yes, some technical difficulties did happen to me). You got it? You sure can spend some time with it. It just doesn't worth it. It's an interesting attempt but mostly for those who are interested in those. The attempts I mean. If you want proper product? With decent gameplay and length? Keep looking. This here is all about the idea. The idea that never became a thing. Would I like it to? Sure. I would like a lot of things. And I sure have a lot of ideas. Unfortunately, like I already said, having a solid idea is one thing. Turning it into something real? The whole different challenge. The one that Ice Code Games failed. Dixi.