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Personally I find that for large-scale RP, MMOs like Elder Scrolls Online and Guild Wars 2 have a lower barrier to entry.
NWN is good for smaller, static groups where everyone knows each other and can agree on a module to play. It's a pity NWConnections died though, that used to be a good way to find a group.
You aren't the only new player to have bad experiences on those particular PWs and be turned off by them. I got two friends to try playing on "Ravenholdt" during their new player event with me and we all hated it. Because while these hosts and DMs seem to want new players, they also seem to have forgotten what it is like to be one, and that their modules are designed to be brutal and challenging towards even those that have been playing for a decade. For many new players it is just an endless string of deaths, not the fantasy high adventure they were looking for, so like you they get frustrated and quit.
My advice is to keep looking. There are tons of great PWs out there to explore, and no reason to limit yourself to any one of them.
Isn't https://discord.gg/ZDHxTdJ pretty much the same thing?
And for leveling, there's these quests called writs, which rewards you for killing monsters and the usual stuff with lots of experience and gold.
Arelith also offers full armor customization, letting you customize every piece of your equipment to make it look like you want. The crafting system is solid and entirely player-run, as are the shops.
If you're not looking for Roleplay, then no, I wouldn't recommend Arelith. But if you are? It's got it all.
{LINK REMOVED}https://neverwinterconnections.org