A Letter of Complaint

[Greybeard]

Dear Mr Szymanski

I write to complain about your, so called, game, DUSK. I have numerous problems with it.

Firstly, I found all the options to change the look of the screen very confusing. In 2018, should it not just run as supplied, as many other games do. Then, when I started the game, I found myself immediately under attack. I was expecting at least a 5-10 minute cinematic.

Having survived that, I waited a considerable time for my health to recover, to no avail. I continued on anyway and noticed my health randomly increasing as I moved over the collectibles on the floor. On which, I could find no menu that showed how many of these collectibles I had acquired.

There were no options for cover. Inevitably, in such a shoddy product, I died and found myself back at the beginning of the map. This happened a number of times before I realised I had to do something called "quick save". Proper checkpoints are clearly superior. Why would anyone want to save their progress whenever they liked?

As I struggled on, I accidentally opened a hole in a wall leading to a passageway that bypassed the enemies ahead. What is the point of this? Surely, I should be attacking each selection of enemies in order, as prescribed by the developers. Even worse, I reached a locked door and found I had to actually double back to find the key, which was far too well concealed for my tastes.

The shooting was little better. Sometimes, it would take more than two shots to kill an enemy. This is not surprising as I am used to always having a proper combat rifle. Admitedly, this did get easier when I found I was carrying a multiplicity of weapons but is this not absurd in itself?

The guns themselves were ugly and there appeared to be no options for upgrading or customizing them. There was not even an in-game store where I could buy such things. I always find that a puce patina on my weapons makes them shoot much better.

As you can see, I have many valid grounds to reject your software. I would use the Steam facility to obtain a refund but I have found that I have been unble to stop playing the game for the last four days and have exceeded the 2 hour limit. I shall continue to play the game to be further horrified by its design.

Yours sincerely

Colm O'Jutie, Colonel (retd.)



Joking aside, my GOTY 2018

[Killerspinach]

Dude this is too long. I'm not reading it more than 4 times.

[⛧CyberDemonEmpress⛧]

This has been done a few times now, it's still pretty funny though.

[Von_Kalev]

lol

[Jabronii-Chan]

i can appreciate this high quality post

[🌎Earth]

Thank God i finished reading lol. If I wore glasses, I would have taken them off and rubbed my eyes like smfh

[^1Romanov77]

There's also a nasty glitch: if you jump while strafing, it makes you go faster.

[Samuli_Hemuli]

5-10 minute cinematic? most of the modern games take 20 minutes of your time before they actually let you play the game...

[Wintermute]

Yeah, I need that sense of false security rather than pulse-pounding-throat-ripping-instantaneous-gibb-exploding-entrail-slinging action and entertainment.

[Jimmy Rustler]

Originally posted by |UKMD|Greybeard:

Dear Mr Szymanski

I write to complain about your, so called, game, DUSK. I have numerous problems with it.

Firstly, I found all the options to change the look of the screen very confusing. In 2018, should it not just run as supplied, as many other games do. Then, when I started the game, I found myself immediately under attack. I was expecting at least a 5-10 minute cinematic.

Having survived that, I waited a considerable time for my health to recover, to no avail. I continued on anyway and noticed my health randomly increasing as I moved over the collectibles on the floor. On which, I could find no menu that showed how many of these collectibles I had acquired.

There were no options for cover. Inevitably, in such a shoddy product, I died and found myself back at the beginning of the map. This happened a number of times before I realised I had to do something called "quick save". Proper checkpoints are clearly superior. Why would anyone want to save their progress whenever they liked?

As I struggled on, I accidentally opened a hole in a wall leading to a passageway that bypassed the enemies ahead. What is the point of this? Surely, I should be attacking each selection of enemies in order, as prescribed by the developers. Even worse, I reached a locked door and found I had to actually double back to find the key, which was far too well concealed for my tastes.

The shooting was little better. Sometimes, it would take more than two shots to kill an enemy. This is not surprising as I am used to always having a proper combat rifle. Admitedly, this did get easier when I found I was carrying a multiplicity of weapons but is this not absurd in itself?

The guns themselves were ugly and there appeared to be no options for upgrading or customizing them. There was not even an in-game store where I could buy such things. I always find that a puce patina on my weapons makes them shoot much better.

As you can see, I have many valid grounds to reject your software. I would use the Steam facility to obtain a refund but I have found that I have been unble to stop playing the game for the last four days and have exceeded the 2 hour limit. I shall continue to play the game to be further horrified by its design.

Yours sincerely

Colm O'Jutie, Colonel (retd.)



Joking aside, my GOTY 2018

How many people realize this is an oblique Flying Circus reference?

[Wintermute]

Ouch. Hindsight is 20/20. Now that's all I can think about.

[Greybeard]

Originally posted by Uranai Zenny:

How many people realize this is an oblique Flying Circus reference?

I didn't intend a Python reference and I'm old enough to have been around when it was first aired. I'm interested now :-) What reference do you see?

[Wintermute]

T'is but a scratch. Also it's an ex-parrot.

[Damage]

Plus the signature. Pythons loved signing their "complaint letters" (including ones responding to letters aired moments before) with things like "Brigadier Stewart Pilkington-Smyth (Mrs)".

[Dame Arstor]

This made me kek my sides to the orbits

[Wintermute]

that comment belongs in the yelling thread my good man.