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The side that has to transport the additional traffic is then often charging money or blocking / slowing down the traffic while the other side might chose a different route to transport its data. It's a common problem with background internet infrastructure and happens a lot while not making it to the public that often.
I'm not saying this is the problem but it's definitely worth considering.
You and your friend could use a little tool called WinMTR which follows the routes of the data packets to the destination (game server) to check and compare if the packets are delayed on their way which may cause lags, high pings and / or connection losses or timeouts.
You could get the server's IP address by checking https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/scum/
Make sure to tick "Resolve names" in the program's settings.You may also raise the query interval to reduce the chance that any intermediate station is slowing the packets down due to a high number of requests.
If you don't want to use 3rd party software you could still use Window's ping, tracert or pathping to see if anything is odd but WinMTR actually combines these three and can be easily run for a period of time for better comparability. It's also lightweight and doesn't need to be installed.
https://sourceforge.net/projects/winmtr/files/Latest/WinMTR-v092.zip/download