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The Host is within 3 levels of you.
The Host is on the same Playthrough as you.
The Host has a Public game.
They also likely have to be in your region.
The Matchmaking likely won't die any time within the next year, something is just being weird for you.
#1 is only true if you search for matches. But, if you quick-match it'll go down the line of ideal matches, then so-so matches, and finally try to dump you into completely incompatible matches. (EG: you're 20 levels higher than the host).
What I noticed is that trying to find matches either way...
1) normal match-making will sit in query mode with the logo spinning forever until you hit esc to exit
2) quick-match seeker will sit looking for ideal matches forever with the log spinning until you hit esc
This makes me think the servers are down. But, they're down more and more often these days. I get this sinking feeling that since the fallout from WinLive and Gamespy going down wasn't very bad (because gamers were screwed and had no recourse) that game companies are more willing to take-down their baked-in multiplayer seeing as gamers are screwed and can't do anything about it. (Except avoid games from that company in the future).
pretty obvious but just giving advice for my badge