Heavy's origin story (3 word story edition)

[C̶r̶a̶z̶y̶ Mita]

this i rip off of the pyros origion story. continue the story using 3 words only
also please make the story make sense


EVENTS.
24/4/19 making this thread alive
18/01/20 i am a necromancer!



________________________________________________________________________








lets start with

heavy ate sandwich







the story so far. i will add something every time someone says something









heavy ate sandwich
"Bad megathread attempt always end up a cash grab"
"put dispenser here, get free health. throw sandwiches at a brother communnist"
"death to capitalism"

"But then a Giant Libtard shot From semi-auto pistols" said the medic who was currently seeing mecha engineer's Despacito File

but then suddenly Gaben appeared. He has big gay and his meal yeet yate yote and released HL3

"NANI?!" Yelled Hoovy

butt sex spy Pulled out his Eraser and said "BEGONE THOT!" Then a heavy main died of cancer then Rogue (The person who faked cancer for free items) shot fat scout but he lost all excces weight

then the fat, then the sandvich, then his brain realised he was smartest bird man so he ate a bomb and died but what he wanted was to be a gamer but was unskilled in fortnite battle royale and got roasted by scouts mum

heavy got ressurected by mercy from sandwich land which was created when he turned into a pretty princess and tried to raise a autistic child named tyler1. He was actually an adult but suffured from the black plague and sandvich desease.

Heavy decided that his momma had capitalist money obsession and he left with scout eating Heavy's sandwich. Heavy beat him up and screamed "Don't Touch my sandwich!"

Scout cried, His will and they were crushed by heavys fat A S S.

The police came and his girfriend and got consumed by a giant bread from expiration date and a infected bread.

Fat Russian man is Boston boi.

He freakin Pulled out his family buisness and fortnitr battle royal is super gay Like Vladmir Putin by ape-sex legends because they all big fat gay, gave big fingerino to communism.

Heavy after destroying communism Gray meets Mitth'raw'nuruodo and cuts off his arm because furry porn are infecting it and Definitely not art because it contain sexy wolf girl and is hella thicc like scout's mom *snorted spy* suddenly spy attacked medic from behind . he couldn't respawn.

the end? or is it?

pre-order now



Chapter 2

Pyro was wanking to deviantart porn of Peni Parker
"who is that?" said by Zepheniah
he must buy Todd's game or he will fight as the new Smash Bros.

"T H A T S 4 W O R D S !" said the narrator who was mah chinese bootleg dealer who was secretly Jacking off to lol itz dead from tf2 porn but got revived with the great pootis bird toy That was secretly wm1s toy called The fat engie and fat demo 2 in one.

Pyro killed Stalin To kill Stalin to destroy communism Stalin said "You are a dissapointment,You degenerate furry" Said Stalin angeryly and then he oh yeah yeah'd heavys big sandwich.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Heavy
Zepheniah starts rapping "yo momma gay!" but he got rekt by Sans and is flying intentionally to strike valve csgo scammers.

"Bomb has been Sucked on by Terrorist Scum!" screeched miss paulings boyfriend , Spah The Guy who sappin my sentry from uncle dane with his LARGE AZZ Jag also known as
"Spy Begone 3000" ESS-BEE-THREE for short.

Spy was whacked accidently by wm1 Spah blacked out.

To be continued next time on The Vsauce Show.







Chapter 2.5


"SCOUT DON'T DO IT!" Yelled Demo as he reached for the n-word pass which was EXPIRED! Scout yelled "Hot dog costume" m a l e m a n d u d e was heavy in his pants *OwO*
"no he wasn't" yelled scout. Demoman was really hot like a thot the medic came, medi-girlfriend at heart but then spy picked up his large, thick meaty ham shank from Cub, which was filled with snipers and glorious communists but no furries an amazing place.

Meanwhile the heavy was depressed about Communism in general because it was killed by Georgey Washington from india and berd. But He saw dog becoming mayor of Anti-chocolate supporters. And Shot DisIsMarcoBoi Because he knew Marco used dead Ringer and escaped
the clutches of Pyro's big, pink Lolichoper, created to establish mass unvaccination Of destroying chocolates but suddenly pedophiles And furries came to gang-bang Marco While he asleep in his apartment. Dreaming about Minecraft But creeper woke Up sleeping beauty


"I deletus your N-word pass" Said Racist SOldier To Sleeping Beauty
"Negatory!!!" Said Sleepin' Beauty as she Saw Him Do Wanking on Marco.
Marco woke up Suprised as he Had something on His cheap apartment Full of vines and furry hostages to furry fempyro With D-Cup boobs.

heavys big sandwich was a communist Which betrays heavy "my wife left, spy wanting to Wank the sniper" which the medic did not allow Because medic was a pootis bird who shot the for another woman Sniper with a even better sniper Is not counted to count numbers.





Big gay arrived must pay over Merasmus shot Megumi.
Heavy is giant Halls are Decked full of jockeys and lawyers and nothing else because Marco asked himself to leave immediately, So he left soundsmiths recording room.
Meanwhile at heavy's small sandvich apartment Spy was doing epic fortnite dances to Rick Astley - he really enjoyed the song "Never listen to tom-jones while eating salad or get Ligma"

Suddenly pyro origin Story happened. Then heavy performed the new sequel to Pyro's origin story which was bad according to Buzzfeed so it's fake news. Heavy got Shrinked like Ant-Man
and defeated Thanos by going inside inside his huge mega Big nose at soldiers lawn mower

Heavy used poetry and died, Franshish rapped Heavie's body which was not enough for Grammy to handle, she execute Order 66 And Everyone died

TO BE CONTINUED


Only for 399$








Chapter 3

Heavy's Revenge.


Heavy killed Eli "Dun dun dun" said the weird narrator.
"Then heavy turned into shrek and became S U P A H- S A I Y A N (i think super-saiyan is a word lol) which doesnt exist
"GG" said Pitchford because he knew Heavy hates Communism (see page-345 for an explanation why communism failed badly)
Then heady decided to invite sniper to a gangbang Party in 2fort.
"sandvich make strong , and healthy with your big pp but sandwich requires American Boot's meat."
Trevor from 2fort creates sentient pizzas and human sacrifices to honor the dead F2P scouts
who don't know how to CTRL+Space into a box so then gamers could hold large and so they
and so they all died, then They realized that they died, in Fortnite Virgin islands so they died again Australia invades Wakanda Black panther said
"WANKANDA FOREVER" and then f2p snoopers died. It was fun because they were professional jesters dressed as clowns Which wanked pennywise so he died.
Michael rosen said
“Destroy the child” Heavy heard this and commited tax And heavy realized
That he's pansexual So he went sicko mode and Stuffed a pan into the mexican,
Sentry dane man And he screamed
"Spy sappin my @$$hole" and turned into Ralsei from Overwatch and said
"my wife left Because she's anti-vaxx and she took the f@cking kids To the ranch which isn't very Very very nice."

Heavy became swordsman in medieval mode
challenging fat scout He (the fat scout) evolved into ULTIMATE FISHKNIGHT SCOUT and he ended Heavy rightly with
Minecraft Diamond Sword

"Plot armor awake!!!"

(Somebody SFM this♥♥♥♥♥♥ please)
Bidwell meets Whitaker Heavy's completely lost his virginity to Holy mackerel, but SosOSOsoSOsoldier decided that Heavy should avenge his fallen Cola. Soldier trains Heavy to eliminate Epic-Games store.
Final battle OF THE CHAPTER Heavy Vs Epic-Games (The Wanking War)










CHAPTER 4 - THE BATTLE OF SANDVICH LAND














It was dark and long night ,Heavy and gang which consisted of Mann Co “Ro-Bots” resurrected F2P scouts Waluigi The MeeM Necromancer Trevor of 2fort Marco from Chapter 3 and panned mexican Including The Retaarded Cyro And biggie cheese went to face off Againt The Epic-Gamers And Epic-Games Strike team consists of Some Fortnite virgins.
Randy Pitchford the deciever Ali-A's Kidnapped Children Joey's world tour Roblox Sad Story's 5 minute crafts and BE AMAZED. Suddenly, Franshish appeared and Joined Heavy rapping over corpses

Team 1: Good Bois
Heavy
Mann Co Ro-"Bots"
Ressurected F2P Scouts
Necromancer Trevor Of 2FORT
Marco
Panned Mexican
Cyro
Biggie Cheese
Franshish

Team 2: Bad Bois
Epic Games
Epic GAMERS
Some Fortnite Virgins
Randy Pitchford the deceiver
Ali-A's Kidnapped Children
Joey's world tour
Roblox Sad Stories
5 Minute Crafts

BE AMAZED


Suddenly, The Spah realized how to come back from heavy concussions using The french snort Franshish wanted Grammy So Marco said
"Somebody toucha my sandvich of this weird white liquid"
"OWO, whats this?" said the special Franshish Clone,
"Nani?!" Suddenly, Epic Games creates TF2NITE, then Cyro nearly heccing found werewolves hot and they was Sexually assaulitng Marco Cyro slapped the Ding dong of the unepic werewolves ,owned by Epic gaymes which were
Pretty unepic for Marco And Panned-Mexican "For ♥♥♥♥s sake" said Panned-Mexican Mexicanl

The battle began Cyro had decided but he was heavy kicked Alia's-children
"dude thats child abuse" said joey's world tour, Biggie-Cheese brought all communists
(a.k.a no one, since World War 2)
"Owo, Fool!" said Some Fortnite Virgins
"please no" replied Ali-A's Kidnapped Children
Cyro then stebbed himself with a non existant pencil In the d!ck and f'cked Pitchford Heavy smacced BE and said proudly
"i has defeat Someone just now with my ferocious tiger sandwich!"

Then Spah unsheathed THE BAGUETTE and epicly slashed the heads off some epic gamers
Was intensily demopanned into outer space and didn't respawn.
Then Saxton Hale Forcefully mutated into a garden trowel And got cancer and became rogue and got thanos's Eggdog of Doom who said "b0rf"
Infront of Heavy which was a mistake because he wounded Heavie`s feelings, so
saving YouTube from total annihilation and degradation.
JoJo weebs raided the kitchen and took the n-word pass ''NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'' screamed Demopan because biggie cheese deleted his pan

Cyro was epicly shocked as he dropped a toaster onto his toe Then he died
"but he didnt"
"No, he died because"
"plot armor Actually"
"he's autobalanced"
"N a N I ?" Cyro betrayed Heavy but did not But actually did♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥on Heavy's minigun Sasha Which is kinda Broken by Cyro Because he's clumsy.


Heavy screamed "f'ck" After eighteen epic fortnite fans killed , backup virgins arrived Cyro rejoined Heavy to defeat BE And sap their cosmetic's server causing missing textures everywhere Which lead to an increase in his head Of missing textures which killed epic gamers swiftly. Then they reigned victorious.
Giant fungus appeared and starts cartwheeling The bodies of night club workers (aka the robots)

That had cancer in 1 cage After Giant Fungus released swarms of lime green scouts causing a worldwide rise of toxicity restoring balance to The GMOD universe And then everyone suddenly wanted to Harass the narrator
"your mom gay" Cyro said to Mr. Gay Narrator Aka Randy Pitchford.
Narrator failed to comeback "Still 4 words."

Defeat Cyro because Cyro has a disease called Updog which means that whoever he f`cked first will get Some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ligma and then they Played themselves again. This caused problems engineer couldn't fix including, but not limited to: ligma, time getting ♥♥♥♥ed,
awakening elder gods, Fortnite epic gamers










Chapter 5 - The new enemy

After defeating Epic Games everyone leveled up.
Thanoscopter becomes sentient
F2P scouts finally Migrate to Turbine and learned CTRL+SPACE but turbine flooded so they came back to spawn. Trevor was proud of his accomplishment: so he sold Information how to Sell Pauling's Drugs, Pauling found out What F2P scouts wanted to do So she decided to tell Trevor That she's bisexual "That's for noobs" Trevor replied in world war posters australian vegemite from the phil swift Flex Sandvich Products. Meanwhile, Cyro was reinstalling Windows at The Local KFC because update 1809 Was the best Suddenly, Thanos snapped his own neck and his fingers Decayed in a bowl of porridge.
Thanos was traumatised and also dead.


Rest in pepperoni Thanoid Man, liek and soupscibe. Heavy Commented down below "r.i.p my ex" Suddenly, Marco replied ‘Haha dis gei’ And Cyro replied "no, u r" So Heavy replied "You all BABIES!" Panned Mexican Replied Nothing personal kid and grabbed the N-word pass to scream "Nipple" legally which would kill the democratic party aka 50% of degenerate furrys who push for communism. He screamed "NIPPLEEE"



Panned mexican got nae nae'd by the furry community which killed him chapter 5.5
Mexican, Officer Sandvich removed his skeleton and called Trevor to bang his Ex-girlfriend, Mercy who was a Medic all along. "No♥♥♥♥♥♥sherlock." said panned's skeleton Mr. Rip Skulls who is SPOOP. and kinda edgy. For heavy's dad

Which is wholesome because heavy's dad Isn’t heavys dad but rather his handsome gay boyfriend which was the science guy named Larry Gay Croft.
Meanwhile Bill Nye planned to kill Franshish because he hated everything and Eminem dissed me and died instantly . "i hate franshish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Said the traitor but God said "woop woop woop" because he dissed James Charles from The Youtube Sisters aka, the demons of youtube kids. Then youtube kids. Then "Of ♥♥♥♥ing course." Said everyone. Heavy is the betrayer.
Heavy killed Scout's mother which loved papa stalin then heavy dabbed At some Fortnite dancing children aged Children drinking sprite While singing "Pumped Up kicks" in the school hallways Are filled with Heavy The Betrayer's Clones but suddenly Cyro t-posed on Obama which caused N-words death, Now anyone can say "naughty noble nagget" In za warudo and also take vodka from Stalin cold dead hands Meanwhile, Lore Detectivediscovered hidden lore In Part 7 Where he discovered Scout pp gets frozen in winter becoming spy-cicle then a♥♥♥♥♥ that some one sculpted into a statue of Gaben "Classic"-- said Heavy Weapons Guy after displaying it in local gun shop owner and threw his russian ak-47 at Cyro's face because he knew how the story goes on forever and never stopped. like some crappy steam forum tapeworm "i know right?" said the dominatrix whoever that is.

Heavy fisted comunists from starvation. Medic default danced on JoJo weebs and died instantly because 124hp scout stole the corpse parts. "Think fast chucklenuts" he told medic so medic ubered but it was too late, scout said the n-word And a Demoman killed everything. Earth got tired from edgy memelords which killed 50% of All Anime Spies this lead to disturbance in force and people ded, barbequed and eaten started growing potatoes,


Is this the end of the the thread?
Find out in the next episode of Heavy's Origin Story. subscribe to Netflix.








Chapter 6: Six Chapter





It is sad day for the commies for some reason. Probably just 1991. Heavy the betrayer ate raw onions and got food for some reason Heavy turns to cocaine and gets Senkosan to help
with his addiction Watching children moaning was a breeze For engi mains had no power To stop Mechawreck and his friends from ♥♥♥♥ing kids Then Darty appears and exposes Mechawreck Which destryoy his will to live and stable income.

cyro tried to duel on a jojo family member Named Jotaro Kujo which isn't canon but should be. back to story
Cyro got killed but Trevor brought no medic with non-existent healing but rather his narcoleptic demoman friend Gangbang a minor which was 10 and Cyro lived. Heavy met Soldier aka his mentor "Heavy, you must be fully Russian"
"I don't regret unsubing." Thanos said to his step mom which was snapped and turned sniper into a homosexual which annoyed putin so he resurrected Joseph Stalin to get revenge on gay sniper and made him heterosexual but God said nothing, because he drank a cup
"so why God?"
"why did you finger our dog?"
It had so Much cumm which he shot onto A innocent child which aroused Mechawreck And Projared to Think naughty things and plot to ♥♥♥♥ all kids Live on twitch
"This is wrong." said vladimer putin , launching the nukes to Heavy the betrayer. nukes did nothing because plot armor is so thicc And shiny for the love of Sniper the ♥♥♥♥ and then sniper Drinks hiss p i s s which leads to Suicidal thoughts and
"I SEE 1,000 COMMENTS Now this is getting out of Hand my social life is gone."
"that's fine lol." said now depressed a heavy lifter which was WWE Was a Furry which is ironic because a heavy Is a russian boy that eats Sandvich and banana which are poisoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by lord gaben That can't count to 300 and then gordan freeman
said: "... ...". which confused Gaben which leads him to ask Freeman “who is Bidwell ?” Gordon Freeman responded "Where's number 3, two number 9's"




And Gaben responded
"why u ask" Gordon Freeman said "pay your taxes For half-life 3"
Gaben said "NEVER!!" Because spy is a stabby frenchman and he hates waving the white flag unless he Dates scout's mother or deceives oponents. or get backstabbed.
"YOU MUST DIE!"-- But then Luigi Robbed the spy And backstabbed Gaben which was not very nice man

but Luigi said "mario you are son of a james charles fan!" "Oh no!" Mario said as he looked at Luigi and played fortnite for no reason because he is an unepic fortnite player from virgingay peoples. Heavy jerked off at weirdos and weeaboos which means that they are now
much more degenerate repeated the same question of life "The meaning of life but then a mysterious f2p bought a weapon from the mannco store
for 457029.99 because of that Gaben had 0rgasm and died. Half life 3 wont ever come out. Thanos got angry and snapped fingers which killed half
of the universe













Chapter 7: The Wasteland Of Pootis Land

Survivors:
Heavy
Marco
Gordon Freeman
Putin
Spy
Biggie Cheese
Ant-Boi
Cyro

Ded:
Panned Mexican
The Spy (who blacked out in chapter 2)
Luigi
Mario
Scout
Pauling
Trevor of 2fort
JoJo
eeron-man
Everyone else mentioned in the story

Is sad day was losing, everyone Fade away because 50% because 13% were eaten by Pyro sharks and and edgy snipers "woah everyone ded" said Marco, then he died too which resulted in the economy of TF2 colllapsing. Keys are getting cheaper
due to Gaben seeming awfully familiar financial issues that are awful about more financial issues making a recursion of more financial issues. Meanwhile, Heavy still eating sandvich didn't know anything about this tragedy so he ate a bunch more tasty, moist sandviches with Marco`s soul
in them. It was a thing which brought Marco Back to life when suddenly, Cyro stebbed Thanos' eye with a spork that was golden and didnt kill which annoyed Cyro But Cyro died instead of annoyance. Thanos unsnapped everyone by accident. He Immediately gets a bring back to Pyro main card which brought Cyro Back from the ded, which everyone celebrated, except for marco who has Double cancer pills so he died Of the spy
who has killstreak And killed heavy and kills himself But spy didnt died because he Smoke all day which lead to dark side of James Charles and Projared getting revealed And him dying to foxdie virus. meanwhile in space, wheatley is starting a well-known revolt to Black Mesa because they were cores all along

[Pr. "Big Threat" Fly]

Bad megathread attempt

[Brucecat]

Always end up

[Polar]

A Cash Grab

[Gestalt]

put dispenser here

[bap no mic]

Originally posted by TIP Gestalt:

put dispenser here

get free health

[Gestalt]

Originally posted by marcus:

Originally posted by TIP Gestalt:

put dispenser here

get free health

throw sandwiches at

[SgtFopper™]

a brother communnist

[Gestalt]

Originally posted by Combatiente:

a brother communnist

death to capitalism

[Sinnie]

But then a

[Polar]

Giant Libtard shot

[Heatmaker]

From semi-auto pistols

[C̶r̶a̶z̶y̶ Mita]

said the medic

[HazmatPyro]

Originally posted by Chuckle Nuts.Jr:

said the medic

who was currently

[76561198300840017]

Seeing Mecha Engineer

[Polar]

's Despacito File