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More than likely because you've got better internet than he does. His internet sounds terrible and he shouldn't be hosting. When you play multiplayer games it's more about who is hosting it rather than those connected.
I can't speak for 10+ player servers as I don't join them.
More than likely you encounter issues on those servers because whoever is hosting is trying to support people from various locations around the globe, not just in one area.
When it comes to playing a game with your friend, I would suggest you host the game for better results.
Like I said before, if he's hosting, you're gonna have issues. YOU host the game, not him