ITT; Mexico tries to seize Panama Canal, fails, I turn them democratic, they declare war on me with 3 units, and join the Allies, who then join presumably to fight me with the guns I made for them.

[iMajoraGaming]

"hey i know america just defended itself from our invasion and made us a democracy, but we have a genius plan, it's to invade america, who has supplied our whole faction with over 100k tons of lend-lease against germany, and our 3 whole units will defeat the 4 million men the us has, as well as their 70 capital ships and 5000 aircraft, and we'll call you guys in and you'll join right?"

"well of course we will, we have 100 opinion of america and are fighting with thompsons, half the browning line, and hundreds of american planes and tanks, and we would be jolly thrilled to attack another democracy over your hairbrain plan to violate their sovereignty! this is a brilliant suggestion, their little faction of friendly american democracies and the leviathan usa will be an excellent addition to the red on the map, which old chap contains both the comintern and axis! it's only fair we commit suicide and ruin the player's campaign. jolly good mexico, you never let us down."

[Viksteri]

Wait so your saying that an democratic mexico invaded you?

[iMajoraGaming]

Originally posted by Viiksivallu Memer:

Wait so your saying that an democratic mexico invaded you?

ye

after i crushed them for trying to seize my precious canal and *put the democratic party in power* lmao

3 units were all they had, were democratic, and had just lost to me, so logically they invaded me a second time and the allies joined them, which made the war from an "oh i'll just annex you i'm not dealing with this" to "well there goes my achievements i wad going for"

the world was already comedically f*cked since somehow the ussr and comintern got called in, on germany's side, in their invasion of either the benelux or poland, which... somehow... put them up against the allies even though the allies had no ties to any participants, they were isolated with just the commonwealth and france, no guarantees or anything. the cordon sanitare formed and created a web of nonsensical alliances which pitted italy, japan and a few other randoms against the comintern, axis, and allies, allies were at war with them, the comintern, and axis, it was the closest thing to a fever dream i've ever experienced.

there was no realistic remaining chance for democracy or communism to win since japan invaded the ussr, then germany did, and then they invaded romania's faction which flipped things around and now pitted the axis against romania's faction which included fascist italy and shogunate japan. i'm not even sure how to explain it because it was genuinely that absurd.

it was an actual, 100% unmodded, organic battle royale. the allies literally were at war with every other faction which eventually included mine (which i formed to organize the central americans into a cohesive bloc to fight mexico with, i planned on dissolving it to join the allies in 1942-1943, knowing i was now the only strong democracy left and that i probably had zero chance of taking out germany, romania, italy, the ussr, japan, bulgaria, hungary, croatia, basically everyone on the planet any longer. i'd presumably chew through germany at most, then slowly die fighting the ussr, after which i'd immediately then have to move through siberia to fight japan and occupied china.

literally every single faction that existed was at war with nearly every other faction, eventually including the democratic allies against me and my central american friends, which meant that now i was expected to fight a country i'd been arming and protecting since 1939, which made all my achievement goals outright impossible, and ensured that democracy, or communism, could not win. only fascism since germany had taken down every single one of the nations in reach that had been dragged into the battle royale, and was easily mulching the red army.

i don't...... i don't understand how any of this happened, even looking at my screenshots of it i just don't get it.

[iMajoraGaming]

Originally posted by Viiksivallu Memer:

Wait so your saying that an democratic mexico invaded you?

Originally posted by iMajoraGaming:

Originally posted by Viiksivallu Memer:

Wait so your saying that an democratic mexico invaded you?

ye

after i crushed them for trying to seize my precious canal and *put the democratic party in power* lmao

3 units were all they had, were democratic, and had just lost to me, so logically they invaded me a second time and the allies joined them, which made the war from an "oh i'll just annex you i'm not dealing with this" to "well there goes my achievements i wad going for"

the world was already comedically f*cked since somehow the ussr and comintern got called in, on germany's side, in their invasion of either the benelux or poland, which... somehow... put them up against the allies even though the allies had no ties to any participants, they were isolated with just the commonwealth and france, no guarantees or anything. the cordon sanitare formed and created a web of nonsensical alliances which pitted italy, japan and a few other randoms against the comintern, axis, and allies, allies were at war with them, the comintern, and axis, it was the closest thing to a fever dream i've ever experienced.

there was no realistic remaining chance for democracy or communism to win since japan invaded the ussr, then germany did, and then they invaded romania's faction which flipped things around and now pitted the axis against romania's faction which included fascist italy and shogunate japan. i'm not even sure how to explain it because it was genuinely that absurd.

it was an actual, 100% unmodded, organic battle royale. the allies literally were at war with every other faction which eventually included mine (which i formed to organize the central americans into a cohesive bloc to fight mexico with, i planned on dissolving it to join the allies in 1942-1943, knowing i was now the only strong democracy left and that i probably had zero chance of taking out germany, romania, italy, the ussr, japan, bulgaria, hungary, croatia, basically everyone on the planet any longer. i'd presumably chew through germany at most, then slowly die fighting the ussr, after which i'd immediately then have to move through siberia to fight japan and occupied china.

literally every single faction that existed was at war with nearly every other faction, eventually including the democratic allies against me and my central american friends, which meant that now i was expected to fight a country i'd been arming and protecting since 1939, which made all my achievement goals outright impossible, and ensured that democracy, or communism, could not win. only fascism since germany had taken down every single one of the nations in reach that had been dragged into the battle royale, and was easily mulching the red army.

i don't...... i don't understand how any of this happened, even looking at my screenshots of it i just don't get it.

like, i just don't understand why or how this entire game was a circus. nothing about it made any sense. it's kind of indicative of the fact that paradox's faction, ideology, and logical base is nonexistent in hoi4. this is compounded by peace conferences being a sh*tshow where nothing looks even vaguely similar to a peace treaty and instead just resembles some meth addicted artist's surrealist paintings.

tbh though i recognize that the sheer absurdity at play in this specific run was... really unorthodox? i guess? the ai is funky and a lot of things need a full redesign but it takes a literal lottery jackpot of wtf-coins to get something this ridiculous. i'm mad that my run died to it but i guess i find some humour in watching the world literally jump the shark straight into something so absurd it seems like it could never happen.

it's bad rng cranked up to the point where it stopped being rng and became instead a culmination of progressively less and less likely things that just kept happening. it takes some insane bad luck for seemingly everything to happen in the most absurdist way any given thing could have.

[iMajoraGaming]

Originally posted by Viiksivallu Memer:

Wait so your saying that an democratic mexico invaded you?

i guess this run basically turned into a literal world war where everyone on the planet was at war with everyone that wasn't themselves lmao

[Arthur 'Bomber' Harris]

That's fricken hilarious lmao