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Keep him in sight at a distance and stay on the ground. If he jumps towards you, dash under him and spank his behind once or twice before you retreat out of mace distance, and he should jump again. This is the main trick that made him beatable, he doesn't give you any room otherwise. If he jumps away from you, he's about to fire 1 to 3 wave attacks to jump over. When he jumps right in the center, just stand back and try to deflect some rocks into him. Took a few tries but I got him eventually.
I'm considering bashing my head against the literal wall, as it is getting more frustrating KNOWING how to take him down, but having his pattern change by the whim of RNGesus. I feel like I have a better chance to win the lottery than beat this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ anytime soon.
When the Failed Champion goes down, whack him with the Dream Nail about three times to recover a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of SOUL.