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Firstly, you don't have to play in open, you can play in solo or private groups, some of which have hundreds of players.
Playing in open, you still might not see another commander, depending on where you are. In a busy system you will probably get picked off, especially as a new player, but there aren't that many busy systems, and you can just use private/solo if you need to go to a busy system.
The game is quite friendly for a multiplayer game to be honest, most people won't be actively trying to kill you, and a lot of players are quite willing to give advice or even help. There are the usual bad actors, but there are ways to avoid them.
As for getting the good stuff, it depends what you want to do. There are plenty of guides or tutorials online that will show you how to get the "best" stuff quite quickly, but by following them you will miss out on the journey of learning how to put it to use. Essentially experience trumps quality gear. There are plenty of people in game and some on this forum with thousands of hours who still fly small ships, as they find them more fun.
And as for the pre-built jump-start ships, some are alright, but they are a jump-START.
Is Odyssey something that's useful to get right at the start?
As for busy or chill, it can be both. Trading and mining can be quite chill, especially in solo, or you could bounty hunt pirates or rival factions ships, which is more hectic. If you want a better idea, I'd suggest looking at a few videos on YouTube.
Odyssey gives you access to exobiology, currently the best money maker, and to ground based on foot missions. Personally I'd recommend it, but it's not required, and you don't need to start a new save if you get it later.
Open is obviously where multiplayer happens. Elite is big so the odd of meeting someone outside of the main hub is low. On the other hand, where people go in large amount, you take a risk to get ganked.
If you don't want PVP, play solo.
Do note that you can switch the mode any time, unlike most MMO servers. Go back to main meny, and pick the one you want and done. You are not locked in one mode at all.
I just realized the game's only $10 rn, so I'm prolly gonna grab it, but I'm curious to know more of how that works going into things.
Edit: Also, snagged it.
To answer the background stuff question, each system has economic states political states and controlling factions. And probably some other stuff I don't know about. By doing certain things players can manipulate these states, and even which faction controls the system.
https://elite-dangerous.fandom.com/wiki/Background_Simulation?so=search
To be honest I don't know the details, but this might help.