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IMO that controller was pretty ahead of its time, though the touch pads do take getting used to, and aren't always handy at first.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2803744615
Edit: Buttons could be changed for a more traditional dpad.
This is my usual routine when starting a game:
-start game and get into actual game where you can move character.
-go to the game's controller options
-then open up steam controller options
-see if there any good user templates that I can start with
-try them out
-if I don't dig any of them, I usually re-map my controller with mouse and keyboard settings
-test it out
-tweak some more
-test
-then off to the races.
Doesnt help that default settings are usually pretty bad.
Learn good settings (there are plenty of YouTube channels who have made videos showing how), learn the muscle memory for the trackpads, and its an amazing controller that was unfortunately slept on.
It can absolutely act as a xbox controller for games that support it.
You must add the game to steam via the button in the bottom left of steams window.
Then change steams controller configuration for that game, and launch from steam.
Sometimes external launchers can cause issues, though the community has built tools to help (Origin Steam Overlay Launcher, osol, might help). There is even the nuclear option of using Global Steam Controller/Global Steam Input, which adds a blank game to steam for the overlay to hook to, and then it passes input to whatever window is in focus underneath it.
That said... You are spot on that the Steam Controller has a particular niche. I'm not gonna debate the efficacy of using the trackpads as joystick/dpads (even though I firmly believe they can do those things absolutely fine), instead I'll just say that its niche is very clearly "keyboard and mouse, only without the keyboard and mouse". And for that niche? Literally best controller ever made.
No one judges an arcade/fight stick for its ability to play fps'; people understand those are for fighting games. Its not really fair to judge the steam controller based on something outside its niche.
You can deactivate the "farting noise" in the big picture configuration menu, (Open big picture -> Settings -> base configuration).
It is the haptic feedback for the trackpad just deactivate it. Same goes with each configuration if the "Geiger Sound" annoys you.
X-Input usually works with any steamgame, using other gamelaunchers might block the Big picture overlay, for that you can use "GloSC".
Valve really needs to find a way to force the overlay somehow as it is also used by the steamdeck.
I also want a DInput output for the SC , would be very handy for older games and Simulator games.