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However I'm afraid the platform difference does add some complications. Basically Steam and Epic players cannot play together using non-dedicated sessions. You will have to host a dedicated server on your own machine, or rent one from a company, in order for it to work. And on that dedicated server, the setting for crossplay must be enabled.
Also, Epic cannot use mods from the Steam Workshop, so any game which is crossplay in this manner cannot have mods active, it must be vanilla only.
All to force you to buy other (newer) games even if far less fun. Not something that is good for us.
Another example, how Steam now has stopped Windows 7, so soon all our games we have purchased 100% because they can run on Windows 7 and would never have paid a millionth-cent for if they required Windows 10. Will stop work and we will be stuck having to fight the game company saying its not their fault, and Valve saying its not their specs.
If at all possible, always get the game elsewhere (pretty much impossible, if you buy from fx GOG they just give you half the game and not the full to still screw you over).
Ark Steam vs Epic versions has a ton of other examples on how the launchers break game functionality.
Not any help with your current issue of course. But in future always make sure you and friends get the exact same game (ie Stand alone PC version OR Steam version OR Epic version OR XBox version etc).
To play with your friend on epic.
1. You must play on a dedicated server. Non dedicated wont work.
2. You cannot use mods. Epic players do not have access to the steam workshop for mods.
3. The dedicated server being used must have the -crossplay setting enabled.
I highly suspect your issue lies with those 3 points. Best check to make sure.