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If you have a dedicated server, there is no such thing as a "host".
If by a server you own... Then naturally...
Well...yes and no. I hosted a dedicated server on my home machine for me and my friends for years, and that was only online when my computer was on. To have a server always be online you have to either rent from a hosting company or host on a local machine that is turned on and connected to the net 24/7.
So basically the options are:
1) Non-dedicated server - can only be online when the host is playing, has a tether distance to keep players close together, suffers from a number of bugs (the same ones which affect single player mode).
2) Locally hosted dedicated server on the same machine as your client - possible if your computer is moderately powerful and has 16GB+ RAM. No tether to keep players together, much less bugs, but may start lagging if too many people play at once. Also you'd have to leave your computer on constantly for it to be accessible, or take it down when not playing much like non-ded.
3) Locally hosted dedicated on a separate machine - all the benefits of 2, but with better performance (since that machine won't be running the client too) and can be left on when your own computer is turned off. Downside is that it'd cost more to get a machine just for that.
4) Rent a server from a hosting company - probably the most costly with a monthly fee, but you wouldn't have to have a separate machine running yourself, and hosted servers can often support more players at once without major lag.
Where the dedicated server is "hosted", that you went into detail on... Is a separate thing entirely.
But I don't need to get into the itty gritty of the word play that I am sure you're already familiar with.
There are at least 4 ways to make a dedicated server. I haven't a clue how using the Ark client to make one works.
Two ways are to manually create a dedicated server by modifying *.ini files or use a third party program like Ark Server Manager that gives you a graphical user interface to specify parameters, then creates the *.ini files for you. Either of these methods requires that they are running on computer hardware under your control, which does not have to be a gaming PC, and can be the same PC you play your client on, if it's beefy enough.
Whatever the case, that PC needs to be always running the server to enable your friends to play when you are not playing.
Another way is pay a third party host a monthly fee. If it's not always running, you're wasting your money. If it doesn't have the same functionality as Ark Server Manager, you're wasting your money, unless you lack the tech skills or hardware to run your dedicated server.
With respect to restricting who can play on it, as I said, I haven't a clue how using the Ark client to make one works.
The other three methods should have means to specify who can play on the server (generally by entering their Steam ID's into a list known as the whitelist). Only those players listed can play.
And/or you set a password. While the whitelist method is sufficient to keep others who are not on it from joining, I have had reasons to believe that without a password, our servers were downloading content necessary to play on our servers, which is wasteful of both our bandwidth and other players' time, i.e. the dedicated server method I chose (ASM) did not determine that the player was on the whitelist before doing so, unless there was a password. If that's been fixed, I wouldn't know. We've been using both for several years.)
So I added a password, which stopped that immediately. An ASM server will ask for a password (when enabled) whenever someone tries to join our servers, and will not download content to them necessary to play on our servers, thereby saving us both some time and resources.
Honestly, why you think that running a gaming server that is always on should be easy, makes no sense to me. That part hasn't anything to do with Ark at all.
There are countless guides online and even Ark Server Manager to assist with hosting your own server.
Or just pay a third party company to do it.
There are countless lay people who setup and manage their own servers. Literally tens of thousands of them out there.
Respectfully, no it isn't, especially if you start out with an ISP supplied router that is deliberately crippled so you that you can't port forward. It took me a couple of months to figure it out when I first tried to make a gaming server about 15 years ago.
That was and still is pretty common in the US back then, with our general laissez-faire capitalism.
Even when you cure that issue, router manufacturer's have different nomenclature and methods to make it work. But once you know how, you can make it work.
You're right, tens of thousands have figured out how to do it. Even I could do it when first playing Ark.
However, for someone who is trying it for the first time, some of whom may lack the hardware and tech skills, that's meaningless.
Setting up the server itself is easy... Whatever curve ball your ISP threw you with your cheap dime a dozen router isn't the ark servers fault.
You CAN still setup a server on such a situation. Even on your home network. And for those seeking a LAN server, or one through hamachi/VPN that may suit them perfectly without the server being publicly accessible.
But that aside. Like I said, if you choose not to do the reading to figure it out yourself you can just outsource that to a paid server host and bypass and random edge scenario you may have on your home network.
I would disagree that it's meaningless how many have achieved it... It's an aspirational goal that says that it is very achievable.
To clarify... I did not say it was simple... There are complexities sure... But that's different to saying something is hard.
Not meaning to call you out or anything bro. In my mind they're very similar, since it still requires someone to run the game which clients connect to, and that someone has to make sure it's online somehow. But I'm sorry if it came across as blunt or anything, not my intent.
"They" did think of that... Hence why they gave you several different solutions to facilitate that. Which hermit went into great detail on.
People are playing together on this game all the time, what does that perhaps help inform you of?
The more customizable the game the more complex it tends to be when it comes torunning a server. Its not the same as being a player and there's a separate learning curve involved.
Also, there are limitations/quirks related to the Unreal 4 engine which the game is built on and (and that's built by Epic not Wildcard).
Your whole crux is that you and your friend(s) want to play together. There are over 70,000+ unofficial servers out there you can choose from with a little effort on your part that can match you all. If you say that isn't the case then you're left with either learning how to run your own server like everyone else who chooses to play that way does or you're just simply going to have to shelve your wants.