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And then, say goodbye to tether distance.
Yes.
You might be able to play correctly once or twice with it set to 10k (both in-game and through your various .ini files in your folders) but tethering in non-dedicated instances is bound to have issues. And even if it's at it's absolute highest you can think of - once someone hits the water, they warp to you.
Look for ASM - load it, start it and live free of TETHERING!
It's just last night that it's started happening and only when we are within 5m of each other.
Would run dedicated but unfortunately no-one has a spare PC with required specs.
No need for a different PC if one of you has at least 16GB and a decent enough GPU with 3GB VRAM.
I used to run a dedicated on my old Alienware laptop with 16GB RAM and a GTX 765M GPU and I could also play while me and my gf were on the server. Performances were not great - they never were to begin with as the GPU was horsepoo, but I could play.
You use ARK Server Manager. The dedicated server program is provided free and downloaded thru the server manager, you do not run it thru Steam.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=468312476
The dedicated server program is small. It will take about 15-20GB of hdd space. I run a server on an old i7 2600. The server uses 2-3% of the cpu and about 3GB of ram... It is a very lightweight program and will run perfectly fine in the background of any decent computer.