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also make sure it runs with administrator privileges, and that it actually has a world readily loaded.
singleplayer saves and joining can have long loading times, and so does the server. maybe you didn't give it enough time to load, or it was just in standby / menu mode, waiting for console inputs to actually select and load a world?
that's the only other thing that might come to mind. or joining without anticheat maybe
great job on eliminating router problems btw
I resolved it, somehow. lol
I've had a couple games being server-d up since this was posted in December. I think this particular one was an old, old firewall setting I had established in years past that conflicted with it.
Otherwise, I'm ok, now!
it's always good to post if you managed to resolve that issue, even if it takes some time. that way, if someone else has the same problem as you, they will also have the solution.
relevant XKCD for what i mean:
https://xkcd.com/979/