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I say for 4 people at least a 8k world so larger towns and cities will spawn.
For difficulty really depends on your skill. If your going to always team up set it higher to give you a challange. If your going to mostly do your own thing keep it at default. But you can easily change all the diff settings any time you load up the world so its less of an issue to change then your map.
I think 6K is big enough for 4 players if you do like individual missions or teams of 1-2, then do larger POIs as a group. Same with difficulty, Adventurer is okay but you can really tweak the difficulty if you or others in your group so desire.
Just avoid increasing XP gain until mid to mid-late game. You'll gain XP pretty fast on the standard setting, but if you go 300% you will quickly get into higher difficulty with game-stage. Around mid-game I increase XP to 125% because eventually it feels like a plateau.