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gaijin dangles all sorts of shiny toys in front of peoples noses, events, new top tier vehicles etc. and like the consumers they are most players will put in stupid amounts of time just grinding
the answer to long term sanity in warthunder is just dont, i dont play events, i dont play top tier. I dont even particularly care about winning and will just play what i enjoy,
its entirely possible to derive fun from playing something silly and dying stupidly, make your goal to kill that 40,000 ton battleship in a dinky little torpedo boat. Or some modern MBT in your low BR light tank, or just something more mundane like exclusively using fluffy ww2 lineups even when more modern cold war tech is available at the same BR
As for “try hards” I’ve never really liked the term. It implies that trying to win or perform well isn’t what you should be doing. You’d probably call my gameplay “try hard” and yet it’s pretty casual for me honestly. I’m often goofing off more than trying and yet I’ll be 17-0 at the end of the match.
For some of us, doing well in a game like this just comes naturally. If I had to guess, it’s because the game is a bit more of a strategy game than a shooter like many people treat it as. I’ve jumped into BRs I’ve never played, against vehicles I know nothing about, using vehicles I know nothing about and yet my performance would make you believe I’ve been playing that BR for years. And that was with stock tanks even. Point is, I wouldn’t consider myself someone who “tries hard” but my overall performance would lead you to believe otherwise. To me it’s just natural, casual play.
Eventually you'll figure out a lineup at your most enjoyable BR, and use certain vehicles depending on the map or just your mood, and fun will happen a little more often than if you were sweating bullets trying to complete a task or objective, in not enough time....
I have a very high score too and usually i generally play well above the average as i said i've played the game for a long time, and yes those who usually play like it's a life and death situation in every match gets on my nerves pretty fast, but i guess some people like playing for fun, others just to ruin other people matches.
In top tier there is at least one cheater as far i'm concerned and i'm really sick and tired to go watch replays to watch an entire match because some guy sniped a person across the map because it was already preaiming them across building, hills, mountains.
This isn't about skill, this is about the game not being fun at all between extremely competitive people over literal nothing, cheaters, and the game it self being terrible in general in terms of balance, economy and vehicles.
It's not a strategy game at all, it's more like rock paper scissors where you don't have the choice of which one being of those three, there is honestly barely any skill involved, all it comes down to is having the better vehicle for the best map and having the luck of taking a good position then the rest will come if either you are lucky or not. The only skill is being able to aim and shoot better than the other and recognize your opponent and then weakpoints quicker.
I have ten of thousands of matches racked up and i'm pretty sure these last years were the lowest point for this game ever.
Obviously this is my personal experience.
Stay away from Realistic battles and play either arcade or sim
I like playing games with my friends.
I can do both of those things in War Thunder, and once Gunner, Heat, PC! or Sprocket get multiplayer this game and its ♥♥♥♥♥♥ devs are dead to me.
From the limited information from your OP, it seems like you consider playing casually as fun, just spawn, point gun at enemy tank, and click, no more thinking. You can do that with the PvE mode, give it a try.
I have fun figuring out how to best operate a given vehicle I'm using and if its playstyle doesn't match with me, I move on to the next vehicle. I have line ups in varying BR brackets that I inherently enjoy playing due to the vehicles I have access to being in that bracket.
I learned very early on that "grinding" is not fun. I just play vehicles I enjoy using, then happen to unlock new ones later on. I also like switching between nations to learn how operate their vehicles so I better understand how to kill them easier with my favorite vehicles.
If you're fundamentally struggling to have fun with the gameplay loop that's offered in War Thunder, you're probably not going to have an epiphany where you realize you're now having fun with the game.
It's up to you to figure out if something is fun or not.
The game is no more or less fun at high tiers, it's a lot more complicated though as more systems get introduced (because that's how it works IRL): thermals, heat-seekers, different guidance systems, countermeasures, ERA and active kill systems, radars with their various settings, UAVs etc. If you're not having fun at 3.0, you probably never will.
The bad stuff:
The grind concerns events and seasons, some are worse than others. I don't enjoy them so I only do them if I know that A) I have time and B) I really like the reward.
Premium means faster research and cheaper maintenance. This year they fixed the maintenance prices and I have (almost) never made a net loss in a battle, even at 8.7. It can also mean very niche rare vehicles, and I suppose it's fair monetization. It is not an instant win (for each "OP" premium there are 5 non-premiums that are just as OP) and it does not compensate for skill)
THE LEARNING CURVE is the only thing to consider. Try arcade, unless you come from mil-sim multiplayer background, because not having a marker over each enemy means getting one-shotted without even seeing them very, very often. But please go to realistic eventually, once you go realistic you never go back. Simulator is for the select few, don't consider it representative.
And final reminder: newer vehicles might have fancy toys for you, but also for the enemy. It won't get better later, it will get more complex, and not everyone chooses that. You don't play WT for the end-game, you play for the knowledge that you're not being shown flashy HP and damage numbers but instead are getting the most probable result for each action. It's free, try it, it's uncomparable to anything out there, otherwise a lot of us (people who normally only play single player) wouldn't even be here. But it might not be for everyone.
I don’t agree with your rock, paper, scissors comparison either. I can take an Ostwind out first spawn and rampage out a bunch of kills despite it being an SPAA, which you wouldn’t think should be taking out Shermans, T-34s, and other tanks with armor. They should counter me, but I’ve had games where I go 10 kills straight in that thing. The strategy you employ matters more than what vehicle you’re in and what you’re facing. In some cases that matters, but most of the time it doesn’t. How you approach a scenario matters more than what vehicle you have. Though high BR might alter that stuff, given that modern tech kinda ruins stuff.