Police Report Contest!

[STARBREEZE_Sebastian]

Hello Heisters!

What's the deal?

Contest time! This time we're after your writing skills. We've all seen the game out of the heister perspective, what may be a daring heist for the gang... looks very different from the eyes of the police. So for this contest, we're asking you to look at any heist, any event in PAYDAY and write a report out of the police perspective.

Why so serious?

There will be two groups in this contest, comedic and serious. For the simple reason that we couldn't stop making jokes when we thought up this contest. We still want the serious tone for the one (or more) we feature on the website.

The prizes will be mostly the same between categories. With the exception that any report submitted in the serious category, will have a chance to be featured during the event. Your writing skill could be part of the PAYDAY universe!

What do I do?!

To enter the contest, leave a post in this thread following this format.
Copy/Paste friendly format:

• Name of reporting officer:
  
• Category:
  
• Text:

Keep in mind that for name, we want your Steam name should you win in the serious-category and be featured on the website.
Please let us know what category you're entering so we can sort them properly.
Keep the text under 500 words, we will check!
Other than that, keep it civil, free from any prejudice/politics and follow the steam rules.

Prizes include

• PAYDAY 2: Ultimate Edition for you and a friend!
  
• Cosmetic Masks including the much coveted Alienware Alpha Mask pack.

FAQ

Q: Can I enter more than once?
A: Yes! But don't overdo it.

Q: How long do I have?
A: The Deadline is April 26th at 18:00 CET.

[Antonio Montana]

this sounds good

[Chadson Chappo]

rip me gotta do an engineering and commerce portfolio. still sounds pretty exciting though

[modercrash]

мдя)

[Ramobo]

Only 500 words? WHY!

[InactiveVoid]

Name of reporting officer: Daniel Halfstone

Category: Comedic

Text: ... One of the four suspects climbed a crane located to the left of the Big Bank and proceeded to pick up what appeared to be a giant piggy bank using the crane. The suspect positioned the crane directly above the glass roof of the bank, the suspect then dropped the giant piggy bank through the glass roof, onto five members of our elite S.W.A.T team. Yes, a literal giant piggy bank. Who even are these guys ...

[Robo-Tavia Memory]

(I'm a little unclear about the specifics of submissions for this event, but, here I go.)

Name of reporting officer: Robo-Tavia Memory
Category: Serious
Text: This is Officer Remmy Paul, reporting in place of Commissioner Garrett. The time is 6:57 AM, April 24th, 2018. Commissioner Garrett is PISSED. He's screaming at the top of his lungs, his face is red, and it's like you can hear steam emit like a kettle. He's yelling about his hidden office safe -- someone snuck in and stole a piece of evidence related to the siege on the Elephant's property conducted a few weeks ago. It is supposedly very crucial evidence related to the case, and without it, could jeproadize the case entirely. He's ordering every man in the building to sweep the entire area for clues. He's convinced the clowns are behind it, but searches so far show that there's been no sign of influence from the PAYDAY Crew. We are currently running background checks on employees -- the only thing we do know is that a skylight in the Eastern sector of the building was tampered with, but we have had various security upgrades installed since the Jim Hoxworth incident. Regardless, we will continue our investigation -- Garrett will have all of our heads if we don't.

[Snipe]

If you already have the UE, can you get 2 to give to friends, or would that only give 1 to your friend?

[Highfeather]

Originally posted by OVERKILL_Sebastian:

• Name of reporting officer:
  
• Category:
  
• Text:

Keep in mind that for name, we want your Steam name should you win in the serious-category and be featured on the website.

This sounds confusing. Should we enter our real name (which people often would not want to disclose), Steam name (which does not sound serious at all), or a fictional name (which is the best option but doesn't fit with the latter part of your text)?

[Antonio Montana]

Name of reporting officer: Antonio Montana
Category: Serious
Text:
I want to participate in this contest because I have over 1700 hours in this game and I think I am a very good player so I could look from a policeman's perspective and tackle topics that other players could not address.
Otherwise, I might notice some mistakes in the game about the mission, but also about the police.
I could also give advice on how the cops should behave in the game compared to real-life.
That's why I think I'm best suited to this.
Thanks for your time.
Antonio Montana.

[BlueDemon - 75]

Name of reporting officer: Jensen
Category: semi-Comedic
Text: *Jensen picks up the phone - ''911 what's your emergency?''

Anonymous - ''Hello... aah... I'm having some issues with my bank customer support, could you guys send some officers there to check things out please?''

Jensen - ''excuse me Sir, would you mind if i ask why?''

Anonymous - ''Its because I just called to ''Robert's Bank of savings and trust'' and a guy with a weird voice answered my call, and not Trisha, soo i tought,
ITS GOTTA BE THE GANG you know, The clowns robbers.''

Jensen - ''ah... okay... i will send some nearby patrols to check if everything is in order.''
*Hangs the fone.
*pick ups the radio
Jensen - ''Patrol 0750 would you please check on ''Robert's Bank of savings and trust'', its on your patrol route, some nut job just called on the emergency line talking about a robbery, it might be nothing, but check it out.''

[Nageets]

Username: ♥Cin Cin♥
(Wassup)

Officer Gary Listo

(Category is serious)

This is reporting officer Listo with a quick run down on the investigation into the crime inside of the FBI headquarters just this past evening.

When we arrived this morning, we found pur security barrier hijacked via an internal system, we assume it was a computer hooked up to the security firm via our new IT guy Dave, he is currently being investigated for further tampering.

Furthermore, our head building technical security, Officer Tristan was found dead in his room, there was a clear indication of a singular bullet shot into the back of his head, we assume that he didn't have time to react, furthermore our security systems have nothing to show from the time of 2200-2230, we have concluded that this is when the situation occurred.

While we do not have any specific info, it is believed that the item the infiltrators were after was the box like object that Commissioner Garret had taken out of evidence that same day.
(He has been reportedly acting strange about it, so we were enlisted to get on this IMMEDIATELY!)

While we do not have any specific evidence, it is believed that the group responsible is the PAYDAY gang, this entire operation just reeks of their crime.

We will give you updates as we find out more.

Officer Gary Listo.

[modercrash]

ничего не понял ну да ладно

терехин
SWAT
Мы обычные офицеры рискуем каждый день чтоб установить порядок.Всегда приходится писать завещание родителям,братьям,сестрам,женам.Когда мы едем на точку происшествия нам объясняют что происходит,как можно зайти к грабителю чтоб не пострадали порядочные люди.Если человек погиб то офицеру становится плохо,обидно его ,особенно если это был довольно близкий человек.Довольно часто спасает бронежилет,но можно получить пулю туда где его нет и приходится долго лечиться чтоб приступить к своей работе.После выполненной спец операции приходится писать рапот как все происходило.Хочу сказать что это довольно трудная работа и на нее нужна физическая подготовка и хорошо обученное самосдержание.

translator:
do not understand but Oh well

Terekhin
SWAT
We're just regular officers taking risks every day to set things straight.Always have to write a will letter to parents,brothers,sisters, wives.When we go to the point of the incident, we explain what happens,how you can go to the robber not to hurt decent people.If the person died then the officer becomes ill,hurt it ,especially if it was pretty close.Quite often rescues a bulletproof vest, but it is possible to receive a bullet there where it isn't present and it is necessary to be treated long to start the work.After performing a special operation is necessary to write repot how it all happened.I want to say that this is quite a difficult job and it needs physical training and well-trained self-support.

[STARBREEZE_Sebastian]

Originally posted by Highfeather:

Originally posted by OVERKILL_Sebastian:

• Name of reporting officer:
  
• Category:
  
• Text:

Keep in mind that for name, we want your Steam name should you win in the serious-category and be featured on the website.

This sounds confusing. Should we enter our real name (which people often would not want to disclose), Steam name (which does not sound serious at all), or a fictional name (which is the best option but doesn't fit with the latter part of your text)?

Do whatever you like, make one up or use a version of your steam name. I mean, Highfeather is almost like Hightower, which is one of the best movie cops ever.

[Checkmate]

Name of reporting officer: Gabriel Slater

Category: Serious

Text: From what we can discern, someone snuck into the Harvest and Trustee branch on 5th street at about ten in the morning. Alone, as far as we can tell. They then killed two of the guards (bodies were found in bags in a dumpster in the bank's parking lot) and set up drill (most likely thermal) at the bank's vault. How no one noticed at this point is almost unbelieveable, yet they didn't. The vault was drilled into, and every single safety deposit box was broken into. Over two hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of cash, gold, and valuables was stolen. No witnesses.

I don't even know where to start on this one. We probably won't be able to find anything.

[「La+ Darknesss ⸸」]

Name of reporting officer: Jack Boyd
Category: Serious
Text: In the highest tower of the town, the Garnet Tower, also the location of the biggest diamonds in the DC. Even I'm nearly retired, but this is the first time I've seen this kind of the smooth and silent. The hole was perfectly cut on every display cases and the hole on the glass marked that these guys are professional. According to the camera feed left barely in the security room leading that it's the clowns, or the Payday gang. I'm pretty sure that this action they did has some involvements with the recent incident that occur to them.