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Also, kudos to you for trying to get the boss's attention as a sunbro
edit: fixed a typo. edit post feature, what would I do without you?
Keep in mind that there are actions that increase enemy aggro (think it's variable, idk haven't modded the game).
*Should probably mention that healing spells and buffs also can increase aggro. A modder would be able to explain it more detailed.
To basically, you start with the aggro, unless another player also has it equipped, in which case, it's usually the first player to get within enemy aggro range. If a player, even without Shabriri's Woe, surpasses the damage required to pull aggro to them, then the enemy will switch focus to them even if they do not have Shabriri's Woe equipped.
As someone who does a lot of jolly cooperation, I generally don't use Shabriri's Woe unless the host or other cooperator are very bad players from a strategy or character build standpoint. That is to say, hosts with no VIG that get 1 shot, hosts and cooperators that spam magic or other ranged attacks at highly agile opponents, and hosts and cooperators that try to play aggressively but seem to get hit with every single enemy attack.