Hello, My name is john elden ring

[S0jin]

in today today i was john elden ring. when i was john elden ring I used to be the elden lord which is the highest honor a john elden ring can earn. as I was traveling in the lands between i saw someone named john elden ring. I said to john elden ring "Hello john elden ring my name is jonh elden ring." he responds to me: "you are no john elden ring!! I am john elden ring!" so I got my moonveil katana unsheated and slashed john elden ring to the ground. john elden ring comes close and whispers something to me: "I was no john elden ring all along. Do not dissapoint me my son john elden ring. Its me Bruce Elden ring" I gasped! he was bruce elden ring all along! who would have known. I start walking to the erdtree and this guy bruce elden ring is following me somehow so I say screw you bruce.!!! he turns human then he grabs my thighs and he starts wailing on me like a madman Idk ♥♥♥♥

[Madao]

I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to have a stroke reading this or if having had a stroke is a requirement to read this

[Wolfguarde]

Instructions unclear, zweihander is now stuck in ceiling fan.

[echo_ML]

I silked my song to this post

[Vheissu]

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS ELDEN RING AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RADAHN. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME MOONVEIL WEEBS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED MALENIA'S BLOOM. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng

[Quadsword]

You missed the perfect opportunity to call yourself Elden John.

[Sothis]

Don't do meth, kids.

[Alby]

Originally posted by Sothis:

Don't do meth, kids.

You must be fun at drug orgies 😒

[Sir Bubatz]

i have aids now

[⛧Vinn⛧]

Cant be. As my character is named John Elden Souls, you must be a sussy imposter :/ very sus and gae

[John]

You're no John.

[Amins]

I loved it when John Elden Ring met The Kid Named Two Fingers

[Alexandre]

This topic has nothing to do with ER. Please, let's keep the topics clean, only with useful contribuitions. Maybe you are new, but now you know.

[Lord Bob]

Originally posted by yoto:

[...] so I say screw you bruce.!!!

Bravo.

[⛧Vinn⛧]

Originally posted by Alexandre:

This topic has nothing to do with ER. Please, let's keep the topics clean, only with useful contribuitions. Maybe you are new, but now you know.

Funny thats coming from you lol