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1. lazer beam w the upgrade that boosts it by your attack boon is fully capable of soloing the game up until 20ish fear at least since it has an insanely low cooldown
2. wolf howl (jump) gives you iframes for cheeky punishes and has also got amazing blue upgrades that give it crazy dps and strong synergy w the guaranteed crit
3. moon water is worse now but with a single moon upgrade starts also giving you mana regen and money so it's kinda like the bouldy companion in hades imo
based on your disliked options i wonder if you seldom take follow up selene boons, as i would say all of these are among the weaker ones without upgrades?
Moon Water is pretty iffy if healing is disabled; it does still have a crazy upgrade to reverse the last second of damage taken, but that's kind of all you'll get out of it. With healing allowed, it's incredibly strong with upgrades (you can scale up the healing, number of uses, add invincibility and damage reversal) but kinda mid without (using Strength) and just bad if you're not on Strength and don't upgrade it.
Lunar Ray also demands upgrades, but can be very strong with upgrades.
Night Bloom is overall pretty weak unless you get ideal enemy spawns to summon with it; it's just super situational for the few highs it can have. The attack/movement speed upgrade is absolutely ridiculous on this thing, but usually doesn't show up.
I think all the other hexes are pretty useful. Twilight Curse is very good against Fangs enemies and difficult large Olympus enemies, basically skips minibosses, and applies a brief 50% damage boost to bosses, and it has a super-cheap cost (really, the cost is more the time it takes to cast); its main issue is that the path of stars upgrades are garbage (really just the one that summons enemies to your cast is useful, and duration common nodes).
Total Eclipse is the best hex hands-down, being useful out of the boss, having no cast time, incredibly good common nodes, and having a sublime node for four freaking seconds of invincibility at-will.
Phase Shift is just solid utility with good path scaling, albeit a little overpriced to activate.
And Wolf Howl is an on-demand invincible reposition that lets you add more invulnerability at the end. It's super spammable and very good with Charon axe, which gets it back every time it uses a Giga Cleaver omega special.
I'd like to provide an alternative way of looking at the Dark Side.
It is great in early game (meaning before killing time for the first time, so to speak), as it allows to learn enemy patterns in a safe way. It is slow but reliable, and at least for me it was a crucial step to learn the final fight before I could complete it. Later as the player develops their defense skill it of course drops in usefulness. So it is not a bad hex at all, just not one you'd take after you are skilled enough to survive without it!
I'm not the best player, I think I topped out my fear around the mid twenties? But I always go for Dark Side when it is available and I always use the Moon Beam as my 2nd or 3rd keepsake so I can level my hex regardless of what I grab. I'm not really sure what you mean about the non-invincible end lag period? I haven't noticed that as an issue and fully just use it as an invulnerability button. Runs where I manage to snag Dark Side are automatic wins, complete cake walks. Generally my builds are strong enough I don't need my hex doing damage anyways, but having a way to mitigate damage is amazing.
Heal is probably one of the best hexes if you upgrade it to recover any health you have lost in the last 2 seconds. Don't use it for it's native health unless you are near the fountain, use it when you get hit for 25 - 100 hp damage in the face.
Beam feels kinda inferior and I never used jump.
Minion revival can be amazing if you get the permanent upgrade as well as boon effect sharing or hp damage distribution.
Slowdown can work, especially if you unlock upgrade that increases your speed during it's effect.
Invulnerability hex is pretty much a crowd control or enemy aoe dodge tool.