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Putting aside the obvious that it's a fantasy game, your fellow legendary lord of a faction is your equal in terms of significance (I mean they're a *legendary* lord for a reason) so it does make a sort of sense that they would be less willing to be subservient than other lords.
It is not less willing. It is simply impossible. What they have in Warhammer 2 was in the right balance. Kislev is okay on the auto confederated if you win the political battle, with Cathay you can have friendship of 300 point and they will still say no.
That is just driving players/buyers away from the game.
If they change the high elve into something like this with cathay people will just never come back to this game.
If they can change the auto-resolve than they can change this as well.
Kislev's got its own confederation system, so that's out.
That leaves ogres and cathay.
Cathay is obviously difficult to confederate. Their legendary lords are family. You're supposed to help each other, not enslave each other. That's just weird. But if you want to do it, you (almost) have to use threaten. It's not impossible, but it is difficult.
It's fairly easy to confederate as ogres, though.
Really the issue is that Cathey is a safe enough area that both Dragon siblings are likely to grow and become very powerful to the point where no level of good relations will be enough to make them agree.
Personally I would see it more as them agreeing to work much more closely together rather than one dominating the other. As with any faction I've always felt part of the end goal of a campaign was to fully control your own race's territory and collect all of its LLs under your own banner.
it isnt
either you live with your brother, you convince your brother or you kill your brother
3 options instead of the 1 there would be if you made the game
giving options depending on how you want to play