Baltrat
Dylan
 
 
Professional Sex Haver
Currently In-Game
HELLDIVERS™ 2
Meet The Engineer
["Meet the Engineer" text appears]

[The Engineer is sitting on his toolbox in front of a blue truck, strumming his guitar. The track "More Gun" plays. Next to him is a kill counter displaying 209]

Engineer: Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.

[A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears next to the Engineer's head.]

Engineer: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.

[Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engineer's head.]

Engineer: I solve practical problems!

[The shot zooms out to show a level 2 sentry shooting offscreen while the Engineer takes a long drink from his beer.]

Heavy, offscreen: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

[The kill counter ticks up from 209 to 210]

Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind? [A level 1 sentry turns around and shoots a sniper who was trying to creep up on the Engineer from behind.]

Engineer: The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun.

[Another level 3 sentry fired a salvo of rockets, blowing up someone offscreen.]

Someone, offscreen: MY AAAARRRMMMM!!!!!

[A blown-off hand lands at the Engineer's feet, resembling that of the Sniper judging from the glove. We can finally see the kill counter again, which is now at 214]

Engineer: Like this, heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me.

[Engineer kicks the hand off-screen as a level 1 sentry blows it apart.]

Engineer: Built, by me.

[A level 1 sentry shoots offscreen.]

Engineer: And you best hope...

[The Engineer's expression darkens, and he grimaces as he stares right at the camera.]

Engineer: Not pointed at you.

[The shot slowly zooms out, showing the massacre ensuing around the Engineer, while an electric guitar begins to replace the melody of "More Gun".]

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]
Recent Activity
38 hrs on record
Currently In-Game
311 hrs on record
last played on May 20
30 hrs on record
last played on May 20
™✓R•I•E•Z Oct 22, 2023 @ 3:57am 
have an offer for ya, added mate.
✯BEST✯ Oct 18, 2023 @ 2:19pm 
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▀██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▀.*•❀•*.
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♥𝙖𝙙𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚♥
76561199071571174 Oct 16, 2023 @ 10:11am 
+rep nice mate
i fucking hate this game Sep 5, 2023 @ 11:21am 
game end yourself
jamescs Sep 4, 2023 @ 1:36pm 
-rep from uk
Baltrat Aug 30, 2022 @ 11:30am 
lets go:melon: