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Dixon

California, United States

Due to the staggering increase of scammers, I'll only befriend those who have a private profile, VAC ban, drinking problem, or any combination thereof. A trade ban alone is not enough.

Although I live in California according to my profile, I'm actually writing this from my penthouse located in an exotic country known as the Netherlands.

Incidentally, I can prove that I'm German by speaking English, Chinese, and Portugese fluently. With and without a thick Dutch accent.

The description and lighting suggest I'm somehow simultaneously in San Francisco, a large sanctuary city of the United States.

My 14-year-old sister has been missing for nearly 48 hours now; I'm still looking for her. I won't give up.

In fact, I offer my entire ''Carfight Vanguard'' card collection as bounty to whoever provides information that leads to her capture.

Family members and classmates, as well as strangers who have a Steam Alert for fraudulent behavior, a pending chargeback over at PayPal; a questionable eBay account, dental braces, or a degree in belly dancing, will be considered on a case by case basis.

High-pitched teenagers, AKA squeakers, are exempt from the above-mentioned requirements — if and only if — they either play the Holophonor or at least two of the following instruments: Ocarina (of Time), triangle, and mayonnaise.

Needless to say — since the previous principal was fired — important life skills; e.g., looking good in a speedo, growing up in an Orphanarium, and sporting a scar on your forehead (even if it's in the shape of a lightning bolt) no longer grant extra credit.

Auditions in general and physical examinations in particular, held on Thanksgiving Day and Chinese New Year respectively, are mandatory regardless of previous education, training, and MOBA experience.

GTFO if you only play singleplayer. I only play multiplayer . Unless you have a story to tell. A story about unrequited love, an abusive brother, rabid dogs, hiding in a library as a misguided tribute to Anne Frank, back pain, and last but not least, protein shakes.

As for calling me cute, I resent that! I am tough as nails. Am I a racist? Maybe. Sarcastic? Rarely. A Jehovah's Witness? In some circles. Distrustful of Caucasians? Who isn't!? But nobody calls me cute.

And don't (!) leave a comment before adding me unless you want to risk getting unfairly judged, unnecessarily blocked, or unceremoniously dismissed; i.e., intentionally ignored. [/h1]

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