Recent reviews by CrowbarLamb

my friend got murdered by horrible monsters and i had to sell his corpse to meet the quota

What's that? You want to become the most Badass mercenary out there? Well, well, I have just the thing for YOU, dear small hireling. This game, Borderlands 2.

Borderlands 2 is a shoot-em-up loot-em-up kind of game. If you want to be successful, you gotta scavenge for new guns constantly. Otherwise, well, how are you going to defeat Handsome Jack if you can't take on a single psycho?

Oh right, speaking of Handsome Jack, you're needed to defeat that guy. Long story short, he's a ♥♥♥♥ who wants to open the VERY same Vault you intend to open. He runs Hyperion, is merciless, yada yada yada, but you're going to give him one, and by one I mean a bullet to the face. The story is excellent.

But you may be asking, "Portable Toaster, oh bringer of news, do I need to have good graphics card or serious humour? What if I have a crude sense of joking?" Hahah, welcome home, friend. The game runs surprisingly smooth for what it's worth, and as for the humour, if you enjoy laughing at a blindsided robot falling off a cliff, a maniac exclaiming that he has a finger pizza for you or anything along those lines, you're needed here in Borderlands 2.

Onto who you'll actually be! Whether you choose to be an ex-army Commando, a mystical Siren, a strongman Gunzerker, a number, a schoolgirl Mechromancer or Meat Bicycle Man, you're going to have a ton of fun. As long as you have a friend, good times are to be had for sure!

But then you go on, "Portable Toaster, do I look like the guy who'd have friends?" Oh. Uh. Well, you can play solo, I guess. I'll just put this out there, though, I was given control of the vehicle by my friend and as soon as he got in, I ran off a cliff accidentally. Honest. But there is fun to be had in Single-Player. Don't worry if you have friends who can't afford the game, you'll still have a blast. But the real fun is with a few silly mates.

9.5/10 definite buy.

Played footballl with my dead body's head.
9.7/10