-IED Technician and Involuntary Organ Transplant Practitioner

-14 Degrees in Engineering (more expected if I can hijack another college graduation)

-Can eat an entire live chicken raw in a single sitting

-Able to bore a hole through six inches of concrete with my urine stream

-Inventor and CEO of what is now called "aggravated assault"

-Confirmed by two Catholic priests, a Rabbi, and three Imams to have no soul

-Former occupant of the top 4 slots in the FBI's most wanted list

-Owner of 17 decoy houses (zero real ones)

-Banned from most Chuck E. Cheese™ restaurants and Planet Fitness™ facilities in the mainland USA

-Barred from airplanes in/around 43 countries

-Considered by NATO to be a participant in the Bosnian genocide, target of a "Kill on Sight" order

-Not currently recognized by any country to be a legal person