Hey Weezer fan,

My friend sent me this not too long ago and I thought I would share:

"I am aiming to become a wizard. After forty years of celibacy you gain arcane powers. So, its not that I cant score any woman I want, it's just i'm gonna be a magic user. 😎"

Have a lovely day my friend :)

-Bela

imagine a girl was jerking you off and she’s like “♥♥♥ in my pocket” and you’re like “what” but you have no time to think and she just holds open the front pocket of her jeans and like aims your ♥♥♥♥ at it and you bust a fat nut in her pocket. what if that happened

９７％　ｏｆ　ｔｅｅｎａｇｅｒｓ　ｗｏｕｌｄ　ｃｒｙ　ｉｆ　ｔｈｅｙ　ｓａｗ　Ｊｕｓｔｉｎ　Ｂｉｅｂｅｒ　ｏｎ　ａ　ｔｏｗｅｒ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｔｏ　ｊｕｍｐ．　Ｉｆ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅ　ｏｎｅ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　３％　ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｐｏｐｃｏｒｎ，　Ｓｃｒｅａｍｉｎｇ　＂ＤＯ　Ａ　ＢＡＣＫＦＬＩＰ＂　ｔｈｅｎ　ｃｏｐｙ　ａｎｄ　ｐａｓｔｅ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｔｏ　ａｌｌ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｄｉｓｃｏｒｄ　ｓｅｒｖｅｒｓ

Sorry guys i won't be online tonight because i will be having massive amounts of sex. So much sex infact that i will be completely occupied for the rest of the night. I dont want to waste my time texting you monkeys when i could be enjoying my time having sex with beautiful women instead. So basically i wont be on for the rest of the night, probably tomorrow morning too. So dont bother hitting me up because im probably having sex and I'll be too busy to hangout with anyone. If you guys need to reach me just hit my dms, I won't be able to check immediately thought because I'll be having sex.

Trust me, when you fire this game up, your little ♥♥♥♥♥♥' nuts are gonna start quakin' buddy. Your little nuts are gonna be quakin'. yeEEAAH YEEEAAAAAAH. YEAAAAHH! You're gonna shoot ♥♥♥! YOu'Re g0NNa sH0oT CÜM! You're gonna shoot HOT ♥♥♥! EVERYWHERE! And that's a promise. That's a promise, folks. That's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ promise right there. You're gonna shoot ♥♥♥♥♥♥ hot jizz all over your computer, all over your mechanical keyboard and your Razer mouse. I swear to God. That you will bust a nut the first time you play clap that's my money back guarantee. If you don't bust a nut the first time you play, message me.

nutty feller