Recent reviews by Undercover Fish

Firewatch - The Flagship Of Awesome Per Second

Firewatch is one of those gems that is rather a hit or miss. Personally, I enjoyed it. It is extremely short, (2.5-3 hrs long)
But the experiences you will have in those hours are the most memorable hours you will have with any story-driven game.


Firewatch is like a Telltale game, but you can move around and interact with the world semi-freely. You can pick up objects and examine them LANoire-style, and piece together story dialouge. If you are the type of the guy who rushes in and likes to blow things up, This probably not for you. If you like taking things slow and steady, observing every little detail, this game will be your soul mate.


The story of firewatch is voiced, written, and delivered excepionally well. You can feel and hear the emotions in any character's dialouge, from the teeth jittering of realizing how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ you are, to Delialah (Did i spell that right) understanding she asked too many questions. It takes a new stride in a type of storytelling, and im too afraid to spoil anything. But spoilers tho:
Dummy, i said i'm not going to spoil anything. Besides, if you already played the game and know the spoilers, why the hell are you reading this?


Firewatch has a unique artstyle. from the indigo-smothered nights of mystery to the orange-baked rocks of Thunder Canyon, the atmosphere is very immersive. Your immersion may be broken a couple of times due to glitches, but you can glide past them.


Graphics aren't the new XXX_MLG_COD3_ADVANCEDFISHAI_GWAPHIX_XXX, But they are just enough to support the game. It's soft, warm, and likely won't need a monster computer to run.



Total Score: 8.5/10

Mirrors Edge on crack. 10/10

Sorry, if you want an ACTUAL review, here.

When you are dropped in here, you are told two things. theres a tower. get to the top. got it? good. NOW GO.

The presentation in this game is done rather nicely. the suspence made be the enviorments and music is what drives you to reach the top. the constant lust to know WHY the hell you are here. gameplay is smooth, if you liked bunnyhop, quake, or practically anything fast, this game will satisfy you. The difficulty is just right, keepiing it challenging, but fun.

10/10

Nutshell: Dead Island is very much the dream of a perfect zombie game. There are different types of enemies to keep things fresh. of course there is looting of weapons, but you can use anything. Machete, Wrench, Paddle, a damn Hat Stand (M'lady) then you can modify the weapon. burning stick? you got it. buzzsaw. go ahead. barbed wire? mhmm. Venomous chemicals? soak that puppy up!

Pros:
Awesome Co-Op
Awesoem Weapons
Fun Zombies
Fun missions
Rarely Gets Stale

Neutral:
Slow characters, but adds realism
Large Use Of Sewers in act 2, but adds new options for gameplay
Extremely Buggy, but most of the bugs are funny. rarely are they annoying

Cons:
some missions have stupid reasons
Animations are sometimes bugged

Bioshock Infinite is a game that makes you question what you are doing, what they are doing, what the city is doing, in such a oddly frantic and badass way that your mind could not keep up with it even if you were Albert-F*ckin'-Einstein.

Beeing Skeptical, not playing the first two games, i decided to pick it up for sale. Ho-lee-SH*T was i in for it.

In Around the 1970's You Start off as Booker DeWitt, a man i would geuss around his 30's, looking to pay off his debts. he is sent off to "Columbia" A city where he must find a girl named Elizabeth, to retreive her, and bring her back to whom he owes in New York. Given only a Sleek Pistol, a picture of where elizabeth is to be found, and a note with bells, keys, and birds. Left alone by the odd couple on a lighthouse in the middle of the storm, with no clue what he is supposed to do, he goes on.

Unbeknownst to Booker, Columbia is a flying city wich he must get to using the lighthouse. Not going to say why, finding out is a reward itself.


Later in the game, the city seems right. it seems alive, and happy. A note given to you says to enter in the annual Columbia Festival Raffle. on your way there, things start to get weird. Then Booker find himself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Later in the game, it starts to f*ck your mind. time and space shoots itself numerous times in the foot, all while the same people follow you around. taunting you. or helping you. or explaining what is, what is.


So heres a sum-it-all-up-cause-i-dont-have-time-fo'-dis:

Pros:
+Amazing Storyline
+Characters Are Interesting
+Proper Mindf*ck
+Gwaphix, Gwaphix, GWAPHIX
+Amazing Mysteries
+Amazing Mindf*ck Ending

Cons:
-After a while, things get repetitive
-Some story elements take a while to understand
-I Said Mindf*ck way too many times


Total Score:

9 Mindf*cks out of 10 Mindf*cks




MINDF*CK

Why. It's my only question. Why?

They made a great game. people loved it. wanted it. admired it. then the first sign came. E3 reveal was a dream. nothing looked that good.

And now Uplay. oh my god, Uplay. they could of just put it on steam. no. they wanted it there. with their potatoes with 60 wires attacthed to it called "servers". Want to know what happened? heres what happened. they partied until 5:00 PM at the release until they really said "oh crap, lets fix this". and fixed it. but its still broken. this game did NOT deserve it.

on the brighter side, if you finally unclog that gutter with glitches, behind that dirt and grime is a world made of diamonds. the game is great itself. A memorable chicago, a hack with the swipe of a button, a time of protection or chaos with your choice. its a great game. it didint deserve to drown in little openings and glitches in the system. (irony bar full


Don't buy this game 'till they fix it. oh and, the menu screen is supposed to be glitchy. just a heads-up.

Recommendation as post time: Nope.wmv
Recommendation when fixed: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!


EDIT: Ubisoft has announced that they are working on a fix! Mc WhoopDeDo. how long is this going to take?

Tomb Raider is a story meant to be played with emotion. Take everything you remember about lara croft and throw that straight out the window. Coming from a woman who goes from tears of first blood to gun-chucking death-spewing survivor.
The story is compelling, with numorus emotional times that Lara can't believe that happened, from rope-breaking slamming against a stone cold wall, from a burning building in the moddle of a storm on a roof, to sacrafices that won't be avoided.

This game is what shows you how lara became who she is today. its meant to be remembered, and nourished.

You walk right past this game without buying it and you deserve a hard SLAP across the face. get it now before it collects dust.