Recent reviews by Valkinsenn

"I once thought I could save the world... now look at it."

Ah, Deus Ex. Conspiracy theories and stoic heroes in snazzy trench coats with a lot more going on than meets the eye in a gritty post-cyberpunk world teetering on the precipice, driven to the brink by utterly deplorable villains who want nothing more than to push it over the edge, then remake what's left into whatever they want. It's a franchise that not only begs for a new title, but also a remake of the original games with the caliber of gameplay that the newer titles have brought to the table. The question remains though: will we ever get it? Given the absolute state of Embracer Group, and the fact that they bought Eidos Montreal... the answer remains to be seen.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution, this game's predecessor, was, and still remains, THE game that brought Deus Ex back to life as a franchise. As thought-provoking as it was entertaining, Human Revolution still boasts some of the best gameplay, world-building, character development, and overall writing I've personally experienced in gaming thus far. So, how does Mankind Divided stack up? In my opinion, it's a simultaneous step up AND down.

Gameplay-wise, there are serious sweeping quality of life improvements made across the board from Human Revolution, and ones that still hold up almost a decade later. Everything from hacking to movement, weapon handling, customization, dialogue, and player abilities has been honed and refined to a T. However, I wish I could say the same for the game's quality assurance and control. For whatever reason, I encountered various bugs that would either freeze the game, or just outright prevent it from loading and force me to alt-tab, bring up the task manager, and kill the game. There was also a couple instances where characters would get stuck on chairs or other parts of the environment they're meant to interact with. Bit of a nitpick, but even installed on an M.2 SSD, the initial load times could be quite lengthy, too.

Visually, the game is quite detailed and realistic, even if those details come at an unnecessary performance cost. However, overall character design, whilst incredibly detailed, is quite muted for new characters compared to Human Revolution. They're rather bland, and suffer from not having anywhere near as much screen presence or memorable visual traits as their Human Revolution predecessors. Also, with the exception of a proud few, much of them also either don't do much in their introductions, or really endear themselves to the player, leaving them to have to learn more about them as they go along. Thankfully, what little characters return from the previous game get some appropriate, if at times jarring visual upgrades. (Yes, Pritchard, I'm looking at you.)

Audio-wise, the game's pretty richly detailed, and the UI thankfully doesn't have as many stock sounds as the previous game's did. Gunfire and combat overall are pretty punchy. However, I don't know what happened with the game's music, but for whatever reason, has nowhere near as much impact as Human Revolution's. Like with the new characters mentioned above, the new tracks seem to be... subdued in the impact they make, like they want so desperately to hold your attention, but someone or something is holding them back. It's strange, especially considering how effortlessly memorable Human Revolution's soundtrack still is, more than a decade later.

Now for story. This one's tough, since Human Revolution's story was just so good, and not much was hidden in the game in order to really understand it, save for extra details that go to enhance the characters and world-building even further. In Mankind Divided's case, the main story works well enough to not overstay its welcome or lose the player along the way, but various aspects of it require careful scrutiny, some in-depth investigation in-game, and a decent amount of thought to make it better than just "OK." Where the game truly shines though are its side missions, almost all of which come with fairly interesting storylines and characters. One overarching side mission, however, basically (and frustratingly) goes nowhere, and begs for more details and a satisfying conclusion, especially in a follow-up game. Worse, and insultingly, in said mission's "resolution," the game basically shrugs and tells the player to "figure it out."

Of course, one has to acknowledge the elephant in the room: Mankind Divided was quite painfully obviously meant to be the middle chapter of an incredible trilogy... that we still have yet to see the finale of. It's also the second of a prequel trilogy to a game that is widely considered to be one of the best ever made. While it does an excellent job of tying into the original game and its predecessor, it still feels... incomplete. While by no means a half-baked rush job, story elements were obviously left out on purpose, likely for a follow-up that may never materialize at this point.

Overall though, despite some glaring problems and issues, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided has aged pretty well. Here's hoping it gets a much-deserved sequel that opens the doors for bigger and better things for the franchise.

My final verdict:
I like it.

Thanks for reading my review. Hopefully, it was informative, and that you enjoyed it.
Until next time, whenever that may be, this is Valkinsenn, signing off.

In a nutshell, Call of Duty: Next Product is essentially Modern Warfare 2019 meets Ironsight, but with a crappier perk system and even less consistent time to kill. Shoot first, die first is also back. Couldn't help but feel like performance-based matchmaking — the bane of many a Call of Duty player's existence — has returned yet again, too. At least it ran well on my system. But all that said, I'm gonna be honest: I'm not getting suckered back into this crappy series. Nice try, ActiBlizz.

"We shall always remember the night... when I lost Ori to the great storm."

Originally, I played this game on the Xbox Game Pass before picking it up on Steam. As I was paying a small monthly fee for access to a constantly-shifting library of games, I saw it was available and decided that, since I was kinda curious about it, I'd give it a shot. I really didn't think much of this game when I first heard of it. I hadn't written it off, but I wasn't really enthusiastic about it, either. However, after many hours of gameplay, I'm honestly surprised I hadn't picked it up sooner.

First up: gameplay. Sidescrollers can be kinda hard to enjoy without a controller. Strangely, this game works well with a controller or a mouse and keyboard, and switching between them is seamless too. The gameplay also near-perfectly balances combat with platforming elements, and never overstays its welcome. Sure, there's some backtracking, but movement is so fast, snappy, and fluid that it's always satisfying to zip through the game's environments like a hyperactive sparrow on caffeine. One real complaint is when the game forces you into some pretty tough gauntlet. With no checkpoints. Needless to say, they are an absolute pain to get through. Thankfully, there's only a handful of them throughout the game.

As for the combat, it's pretty simple. All you have to do is get relatively close to enemies and let 'em absolutely have it via your magical floating orb you get at the beginning. However, while simple, there's a surprising amount of variety and depth with the tools available, as your attacks can have different effects based on what they're used against. Many also double over as advanced movement abilities, like charged dashes and the stomp ability, and can open up new avenues of exploration if used correctly. Upgrades to your abilities are available too, and are unlocked with experience points and upgrade tokens gained from fallen enemies or scattered throughout the game's environments. Pretty much every upgrade is useful in some way, though power upgrades for certain secondary abilities were sorely missed, though. Secrets areas are everywhere, and they've usually got something useful in them, so keep an eye out.

And now: visuals. This game's got an absolutely fantastic animated cartoon-like style, and it's kinda hard to tell what's 2D or 3D because of it. It basically looks something like you'd seen in a Saturday-morning cartoon if it had a large budget. The style's intricate, but not overdesigned and vibrant, but not oversaturated. There's a lot going on at any one time, and all the visual elements are designed and woven together so well that nothing gets lost during gameplay or cutscenes. A large variety of characters and enemies are present too, all of which are unique so they stand out from their surroundings as well as one another. Their animations are also all fluid and well-designed, too.

Speaking of cutscenes, the game has them, but they're relatively short and to the point, with minimal expository dialogue. Pictures are worth a thousand words, and Moon Studios clearly understood this when crafting the game's cutscenes and overall narrative. It's simple and easy to understand, but told visually, and with maximum impact. Some heavy themes are also woven into the game's story, especially given what happens in it, but they're heavy-handed or in your face, and character motivations, especially that of the game's primary antagonist, are made clear, concise, and surprisingly relatable. It's honestly impressive how much is accomplished with so little, and even the smallest parts of the game's story do a lot of heavy lifting in their own right.

Audio is up next. Like its visuals, the game boasts a rich soundscape that adds much to immersion. From airy forests to raging infernos, waterlogged caves, murky swamps, and so on, the game's sound design goes a long way toward making its locales feel grounded, yet larger than life. Enemies also stand out from environments, too, and you'll definitely know when you've attracted the ire of a mutant bird or an irritable ball of slime. Additionally, the sound design makes combat and movement feel potent and satisfying. While you're flitting your way through environments, you'll be absolutely hammering your enemies with magic-based attacks that give hard and heavy responses when they hit. You'll also feel it when your character takes damage, too. However, it's always a bit of a shock when you die, since your character simply blinks out of existence with the same sound as when they take damage.

The game's music is also pretty emotional, though it never really feels unwarranted. As the game takes place in an animated fantasy world, expect to hear more whimsical, and at times cutesy, styles of music. That is, until you run the game's gauntlets. There are dramatic moments, along with slower and somber moments, but the music still fits them very well, and also transitions between one another pretty smoothly. There's also some voice acting on display, though it's a bit light, ranging from the narrator's deep, godlike voice to the high-pitched, orb-like companion that you get at the start of the game. Both speak in some kind of in-universe language(s), but you get text blurbs to go with it, so you still understand them. Thankfully, the orb doesn't speak so much that it gets annoying, and you can always skip its lines too.

Overall, despite some minor hiccups and some frustrating elements, along with at least one achievement that won't unlock, I actually thoroughly enjoyed my time with Ori and the Blind Forest. Doubly so since I originally wasn't really expecting much from it before I went in. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised by my experience with it. So much so that I went ahead and bought a copy so I could review it on Steam. And promptly wrote an essay about it that I had to truncate because of character restrictions.

My final verdict:
I loved it.

Thank you very much for reading my review. I hope it was informative, and that you enjoyed it.
Until next time, this is Valkinsenn, signing off.

"Rip and tear... until it is done!"

It's a game no one asked for, but it was one everyone needed. Stuck in development hell for years, it had no reason to be good at all, let alone great. When it was announced, skepticism was everywhere, a fact not helped by Bethesda's review embargo lifting only on the day it was released. But good GOD, did it bring its franchise roaring back to life, puncuating it with the sound of demons screeching, and guns blazing to silence their wretched shriek-holes. Gaming's granddaddy had returned to show the young'uns how it's done. But enough with the lip service. Let's get down to business.

Normally, I'd do visuals first, but gameplay's the beating heart of this magnificent beast. The Doomguy's back, and he's mad. As the re-minted Doom Slayer, you'll blast, smash, and maul your way through a certifiable army of Hell's finest, and they want you dead. Be smart, stay as mobile as possible, and you'll survive and thrive against these unholy monsters. If not, get used to the Game Over screen. Thankfully, you've got an arsenal of hard-hitting weaponry available, with upgrades to make them even more devastating. Some are more useful than others, though. Shotgun grenades, anyone? Reloads are for wimps, too, and Id Software wisely omitted them as they knew they'd slow the game down.

Low health enemies are essentially fleshy pinatas, allowing you to perform brutal finishers on them for more health, especially if you're low on it. Need ammo? Well, you've got a chainsaw, too. Just remember: the bigger they are, the more fuel you'll need. Your suit can be upgraded with tokens scattered throughout the environments, and more powerful upgrades require more tokens. There are also nifty little secrets hidden throughout the game, so be sure to have a look around. Lastly, while most of the game's levels are fairly non-linear, some can be more linear than others, and their verticality makes the game feel more like Quake than Doom, though it's a minor gripe at worst. Watch out for those death pits, though!

Graphically, the game is a feast for the eyes, and thanks to the Vulkan renderer, the game runs (mostly) smooth as butter, even at the highest possible settings. Lighting and shadows are top-notch and deftly placed and perfectly compliment the game's beautiful and intricately-crafted environments. Characters and enemies are all memorable and unique, especially the demons, which you get to blast to bits with your big and badass arsenal of weapons. It's colorful, but not oversaturated, and it strikes a near-perfect balance between looking realistic, and looking like a fun game that lets you blast the literal hell out of demons. Hats off to Id Software for making the game both fun and gorgeous.

Sonically, the game is somewhat disappointing, but also immensely gratifying at the same time. Yeah, it's weird. Not gonna lie. Environments and weapons sound... okay, but the mix is a bit weak. Weapons particularly sound underpowered, especially in stark contrast to the kind of carnage you can inflict with them. If only they'd made it to where weapons were louder and more distinct from one another, this problem would be remedied almost immediately. Environments and enemies are better though, and help to effectively sell the game's atmosphere. However, where the sound design falls a little flat, the game's soundtrack more than makes up for it, in spades. While everybody pretty much knows Mick Gordon's name now, he was more or less unheard of before, only really being known for Killer Instinct in 2013. After Doom 2016 however, he more or less became a household name in gaming, and with good reason.

Mick's score is an absolute marvel, and it works astoundingly well with the game's action and pacing. While Doom 2016 might be known for its brutal, frenetic combat, it's also got slower, more atmospheric moments inserted in-between, and the score works brilliantly for both. Gordon just knows how to pump you up, set you on edge, or do both at the same time. And for extra points, he also sprinkled in some nice throwbacks to Bobby's Prince's score for the original games here and there, too. The best part, though, is that unlike so many of Doom 2016's contemporaries at release, the game's music is pushed to the front of it's soundscapes, that way you can enjoy it to its fullest while you're going to town on Hell's finest, or just soaking in the game's atmosphere while between combat zones.

Lastly, the game's got a bit of a story, but you're not here for it, and neither is the Doom Slayer. Rather strangely, there are some sections where you're forced to listen to exposition, but thankfully, they're both limited in number and relatively short. Sadly, there's no real modding capabilities to the game, but thankfully, there's a surprising amount of stuff you can put together with SnapMap, though most people who master it will likely make remastered versions of the original games with 'em. And then there's multiplayer. The less said about it, the better. Its balancing is crap, matchmaking times are long, and progression and loadouts in an arena shooter are just plain wrong. Character customization's kinda cool, but it's not the reason I bought the game in the first place. I came for the single-player and for Snapmap, and that's it.

Overall, I rather enjoyed it. It's got some flaws, sure, and a multiplayer experience that pretty much blows but its single-player is absolutely an experience worth having.

My final verdict:
I loved it!

I hope my review was informative and that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!
Until next time, this is Valkinsenn, signing off.

"You belong to us, Ethan. You have always belonged to us..."

Playing this game as a teenager on a PC that could barely run it made me think that it was the scariest game I'd ever played. Ten-plus years later, I'd pick it up again and play through it from start to finish, and I've been pleasantly surprised by how well it's held up. While some aspects of it have dated pretty hard, the overall package has aged quite well, a fact owed heavily to its core gameplay, which still shines, even in today's market. Or, perhaps, because of it.

So, first, I'd like to weigh in on its visuals. Condemned's visual fidelity has aged pretty harshly, and this is most notable in its models and texture quality, which are quite poor in comparison to modern games. Geometry errors on characters and environments also show up from time to time, too. Animations, especially during the game's unskippable cutscenes, are pretty stiff, and are most noticeable on faces. Clothing also tends to deform in bizarre ways, too, once again, during cutscenes. What also hurts is the pixelation that tends to appear on displays, reflections, and the game's light shafts.

However, what ends up saving the game's visuals is its environments, characters, and lighting. It's clear that Monolith put a lot of love and attention into the game's crumbling, run-down, and sometimes blood-soaked environments, and it shows. You'll find yourself in abandoned offices, subways, libraries, schools, etcetera, all basically gone to hell. Characters are also well-crafted and visually distinct from one another, especially when it comes to the game's murderously insane enemies, all of which are bent on brutally destroying anyone close by, including you.

Last, but not least, the game's lighting is probably its biggest visual strength. It's simple, but effective, and goes a long way toward building and reinforcing the game's atmosphere. Most environments range from sparsely lit to pitch black, but your unlimited flashlight gives you a decent, if claustrophobic view of what's immediately in front of you. It's range and cone of lighting are also fairly realistic, so it works to ground the atmosphere even further, making it feel pretty authentic. However, it can also heighten the game's tension to unbearable levels, especially in those rare instances where it's taken from you.

And now, a word on sound. In short, Condemned absolutely knocks it out of the park. Like its lighting, it's sound design is simple, but incredibly effective. Meaty, hard-hitting impacts during combat are underscored by subtle, nuanced ambience placed expertly throughout the game's environments. You will feel the impact of a weapon against an enemy's head, or your own, and walking into new areas will induce a sense of awe or pure dread just from what you can hear alone. Nathan Grigg's unconventional soundtrack, generally comprised of atonal droning or heavy, deep "pulses," also works wonders for the game's atmosphere, too. In fact, a lot of the game's music is implemented in such a way as to make you wonder whether it's music, or something the game's protagonist actually hears in his head.

There's even some really good voice acting on display here, too. Well, for the most part. Enemies sound absolutely deranged, from screaming at the top of their lungs in violent rage to incoherent muttering and rambling, and even growling and hissing at you, each other, or nothing in particular. The only real weak links are that of the game's named characters, though Serial Killer X stands out positively among them. Greg Grunberg as Ethan Thomas, the game's protagonist, feels like he's been miscast, especially in comparison to Andre Sogliuzzo in the game's sequel, and while his performance wasn't necessarily bad, it honestly could've been so much better.

Finally, we get to Condemned's greatest strength: its gameplay. You move at a walk. Your enemies are smart, vicious, desperate, and absolutely want you dead. Your weapons consist of pipes, boards, planks, or whatever you can pry out of the environment at a moment's notice, and your enemies will often do the same. You hit hard, and so do they. Firearms are present, though rare, and are absolutely lethal for whoever wields them. Health is scarce and doesn't regenerate, and you have a taser, but it takes time to regenerate. It is somewhat unbalanced, especially with a particular upgrade received later on in the game, though. Its recharge time should've been a bit longer, but that doesn't really drag the gameplay down too much.

However, being an old game, it's got some technical issues. The Steam version strangely doesn't include a bunch of the sounds from the non-Steam version of the game, particularly toward the end of chapter four. There are also a bunch of other issues, like with the game's anti-aliasing, but thankfully, PC Gaming Wiki's got fixes for all of 'em here[www.pcgamingwiki.com]. Hopefully, Steam will allow me to add a link in this review to them.

Overall, Condemned is a very well-made experience that still holds up rather nicely today. While most modern horror titles rely on cheap jump scares and buckets of gore to try and frighten the player, Condemned instead continually builds layers of tension and dread to unease and unnerve the player throughout its run-time. You're not defenseless, sure, but you're also nowhere near invincible, and the game goes out of its way to ensure that you know that. And you absolutely need to watch your back.

My final verdict:
I (still) like it.

Hope you found this review informative, reader.

Until next time, this is Valkinsenn, signing off.

"Game over, man! Game over!"

Ugh. What a train wreck. I wanted to like this game, even a little bit. But even with TemplarGFX's overhaul mod, which I primarily bought this game for, it's still a train wreck. Boring and repetitive, janky as hell, lousy in presentation, and chock full of nostalgia bait, just to add insult to injury. Oh, 'Member Berries can be so bitter, sometimes...

A word on visuals: the environments actually don't look half bad, and the lighting, more often than not, is actually pretty good. Weapon design is okay, but largely forgettable, especially with the new stuff. Certain additions made to the older weapon designs are just laughable though, especially iron sights on the M41A. Character design is just... it's pretty bad. I'd rather not go into it. The animations range from passable to downright atrocious, especially for weapons, and the less said about the game's reloads, the better.

Now for audio. The dialog is, without a doubt, some of the dumbest, wackiest crap I've heard yet, and not in a good way. You can tell the actors were trying their hearts out to make this idiotic sludge sound convincing, which somehow makes it all even worse. Gunfire tends to cut out, especially on automatic weapons, and I'm not sure if it's the mixing or editing, but they honestly sound kinda lame, even on classic weapons from the movie. Music is also pretty forgettable, and mixed in such a way that it frequently gets pushed into the background.

And now we get to gameplay, where it all falls apart. As if it was being held together by much, anyway. Call of Duty clone? Yep, done poorly. Dumb AI? Even with the overhaul mod. A totally broken weapon swap system? Uh-huh, 'cause balance is overrated. Quick-time events? An exasperated "yes." This is where I was hoping the game would at least give off a muted glimmer of hope, but it couldn't. And I'm not even gonna comment on multiplayer, 'cause I didn't play it, and wasn't interested in the first place. I came for the single-player experience, and I was left wanting.

Last, but not least, the game's got some serious frame rate issues -- and that's on a system that can run games like Doom: Eternal and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019) on high settings at a high framerate -- and consistently locks up when starting Stasis Interrupted. Some guy goes to grab your character and the game freezes. It just freezes. Ironically, with the sound of flames going on in the background.

My final verdict:
I didn't like it.

Hope my review was informative, however short it was.
This is Valkinsenn, signing off.

"Dear Esther"
A review by Richard Valkinsenn.

"Dear Esther, I've begun my ascent."

In 2008, a mod was released for Half-Life 2 called Dear Esther. Originally created by TheChineseRoom, it was a brilliant experiment in emotional, narration-driven storytelling amid beautifully crafted scenery (to this day) and gorgeously composed music. Several years later, in 2012, Dear Esther was re-released as a standalone game on the Source Engine with remastered visuals, expanded scenery, and redone music. There's a burning question at hand, though: how is it?

Well, that's an interesting question for many reasons. Dear Esther is not meant to be played like a traditional game, since there are no real objectives or obstacles in the game for the player to achieve or overcome, aside from progressing through the game's stunningly-detailed environments. Instead, Dear Esther is an experience, and it's an engrossing experience from start to finish. Essentially, Dear Esther is more of an interactive story than an actual game, as you move through environments with a narrator delivering subtle, yet emotional bits of monologue at various points throughout.

Even though the game can be considered slow-paced, as the player is essentially forced to walk through the entirety of it's one to two hour-long experience, Dear Esther's true payoff is in its immersive qualities. And these cannot be overstated. Simply put, Dear Esther is gorgeous. From its very first second to its very last. Everything about it is top notch, from it's awe-inspiring art direction and visual style, to its hauntingly beautiful score by Jessica Curry, and even the voice acting from the narrator is pitch-perfect in its often heart-wrenching (yes, heart-wrenching) somberness, especially given the context of what he speaks, and what the player witnesses throughout.

Of course, the game isn't without its faults, as the player's freedom of movement is severely limited and there's no enemies, obstacles, or threats to overcome. But then again, in an experience like Dear Esther, the ability to sprint or jump would be pointless. It's something meant to be slowly taken in, like a walk through an art museum (with really good art, I might add) or a trek through a wilderness, though there's no bears to worry about here. It's a work of art from start to finish. And one of the best-looking games built on the Source Engine. Sure it isn't about killing monsters or terrorists, or stopping the end of the world, but it simply doesn't have to be. It just has to be what it is.

FINAL VERDICT:
I loved Dear Esther.

Thank you very much for reading my review of Dear Esther.

Until next time, this is Richard.
Signing off.

"Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3"
A review by Richard Valkinsenn.

"Friendlies! Hold your fire!"
"That means 'don't shoot 'em,' Grinch."

Singleplayer first.

If you've played Call of Duty once, you pretty much know what to expect. And the devs of this game clearly knew this. Gone is the training section of the game you've come to expect from previous titles, along with any semblance of new mechanics, the former having been replaced with tooltips and the latter being just a missed opportunity in favor of tried, true, and (by this point) dull familiarity. Usually, Call of Duty could be forgiven for bland gameplay by introducing memorable characters with each new installment, but this time around, this just simply isn't the case.

About half the time, you'll be rolling with a squad of generic supermen who are more like mindless robots that human beings. Yes, I'm talking about Metal squad, which is kind of an ironic name, when you think about it. It's even worse when you think about the considerable talent that was wasted on such generic, forgettable, and poorly-written characters. William Fichtner? Idris Elba?! TIMOTHY OLYPHANT?!! BRUCE GREENWOOD?!?! Having seen many of the different roles these four gentlemen have been in, I can safely say that their talent was criminally under-utilized on such bland and lifeless characters seen here in Modern Warfare 3. Thankfully, returning characters from Modern Warfare 2 and Call of Duty 4 are given much better treatment. I'm looking at you, Price and Soap. Of course, one new character is given some rather nice treatment, even though he doesn't say much until close to the third act of the game.

Art direction in the game is pretty poor, too. While the visual fidelity of the game is passable, the dull, muted color scheme is not. Areas that should visually pop just whimper as you look at them, making it that much harder to get engaged in anything that's happening in-game. Speaking of lack of engagement, the game is horribly repetitive in its repeated narrow chutes in which you kill enemies and hide until your health regenerates. On higher difficulties, the low amount of health you have, coupled with the constantly-respawning waves of enemies, artificially inflates the difficulty by keeping you effectively stuck in one place until the game decides to stop throwing enemies at you. Did I mention there are NO flanking routes in the game's level design? Effectively, much of MW3's gameplay can be summed up in five words: fire, kill, hide, wait, repeat.

And now we get to Multiplayer... yay.
I'm so excited.

Modern Warfare 3's multiplayer can be summed up as very few steps forward, too many steps backward. Menus are even more of a chore to navigate through than they were in previous titles, with intuitive navigation all but absent in just about every area, or present in some areas before being thrown out in subsequent areas. Possibly, this is done as an insult to players who are interested in navigating the UI without too much fuss. The game also eschews dedicated servers for everything except unranked play, also most likely as a slap in the face to players wanting ranked servers included in Call of Duty again. Lastly, the game lacks an FOV slider, in addition to separated audio sliders, made worse by the fact that the game's obnoxious music plays rather loudly at very unwelcome times.

In terms of maps, this game sports some of the worst maps I've ever seen in online multiplayer and even in its own parent series. They MIGHT be the same size of Modern Warfare 2's maps, but you wouldn't know since they feel MUCH smaller. This is due to the cluttered nature of the maps, in addition to the god-awful three-funnel map design that began to really show its ugly face in the series. Not three open LANES, though. Three tight little FUNNELS. Worse, camping is further exacerbated this time around due to the choices made by the map designers. Long open corridors, rooms with windows overlooking major thoroughfares, choke points with narrow entrances and large openings, large open fields with no cover, the list goes on. And it all feels like you're being funneled down a chute, anyway. Gee, maybe it's because at just about any point in the game's maps, you can only move in an average of about 2-3 directions, max? Compare that to the 5-8, on average, seen in Modern Warfare 2.

Not to mention the fact that the balancing for the game's perk system is practically non-existent, with some perks having no real practicality or worth when used and others having way too much, by comparison. One hides you from enemy detection abilities, like UAVs and portable radar, but at the same time, does not hide you from enemy vehicles like Pavelows or Apaches. Another, in particular, gives players who use it too much of an unfair advantage in that it both amplifies enemy footsteps and cancels out another perk that silences your footstep sounds, further encouraging lay-in-wait tactics. These examples only serve to highlight some of the more bizarre and rather unwelcome choices made in the perks system from Modern Warfare 2 to this game. And it only gets worse when the game's arsenal of weaponry is factored into the equation.

A good arsenal of weaponry is the cornerstone of any online FPS game, and here is where Modern Warfare 3 also misses the mark, and in no small way. Too often, many different weapons either feel the same, feel very clunky and unwieldy when used, are all but useless, or are simply way too powerful for their own good. Simply put, the balancing is all over the place. Sure more options are present for each weapon, but not all of these new options are really needed or very-well implemented. Some also beg the question of why they were even implemented in the first place.

In summary, the campaign modes do nothing to innovate on formulas or foundations laid in the gameplay of previous titles, and the multiplayer suite makes some unwelcome and rather bizarre changes to the game's overall structure, working to undermine the winning formula that the previous game had, rather than augmenting it. Both online and off, the game is a frustrating chore to play through, suffering from terrible design and implementation almost across the board. Not much in this game can elevate it from the depths of mediocrity that it sank the entire series to.

Final verdict:
I hate Modern Warfare 3.

Thank you for reading my review of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.

Until next time, this is Valkinsenn.
Signing off.

"Bioshock: Remastered"
An un-review by Richard Valkinsenn.

DISCLAIMER: I did receive this for free, but only because I own the original.

"Oh, boy! This is not good."

This will be an open letter to AAA publishers out there who read this "review." Since this game is not an actual remaster, this will not be an actual review. Well, at least it won't be too in-depth. Let's be clear: I loved the original Bioshock, and, by extension, Bioshock 2. It's a great game with an amazing story that deserves to be remembered and cherished as an important landmark of videogaming history. Everything from the writing of the characters to the bizarre, but memorable atmosphere, and even the game's soundtrack made the game one of the best I've ever played. Yes, Bioshock indeed sits next to such games as Doom, Halo, Call of Duty 4, and many other classics I've had the pleasure of experiencing, so far.

Bioshock: Remastered, on the other hand... is an abomination. One that spits in the faces of fans of the original game, for a number of reasons. It's a technical, buggy mess lacking much-needed options. And the technical problems aren't just the only problems this thing faces. Nothing in this game has really been "remastered" at all. There is no real discernable difference between this game and the original to speak of. Maybe the textures are sharper or the lighting's been reworked somewhat? Honestly, I couldn't tell the difference. Visually, it's exactly the same as I remember it from the original, something that also extends to the gameplay, of which there is also no discernable difference.

But the bottom line is simple: this... "thing" is not a remaster, but a resale. Nothing really new or interesting has been added into it, save for bugs that should've been squashed before the game launched. And overall, this so-called "remaster" is an insult to fans of the original looking for an augmented and redone version of the game they loved.

So, let's make this abundantly clear, shall we? The original game STILL EXISTS and it runs JUST FINE on modern hardware. It didn't need a half-baked touch-up, and it didn't need a casual resale as a buggy, technical abomination, either. Triple-A publishers, READ THIS CAREFULLY: if you're gonna remaster a game like this, THEN YOU NEED TO FULLY REMASTER IT. From the ground-up. Redo and spice up the art direction, change up and streamline the gameplay, and add surprises for the fans of the original game to discover as they run through it. Do NOT, and I repeat:

DO
NOT
RESELL
YOUR GAME
AS IS.

And do not attempt to pass off a resale as a remaster. You will only hurt your own reputation in doing so.

Final Verdict:
I loved the original.
I hated this quote-un-quote "remaster."

This is Richard Valkinsenn,
Signing off.

"Hotline Miami."
A review by Richard Valkinsenn.

"I've never seen brains like that before, man."

"Brutal" is the word for Hotline Miami. Both in terms of violence and even gameplay. And it shows no mercy in both regards. Sporting a memorable retro style in both it's pixellated visuals and top-down gameplay--for better or worse--Hotline Miami serves as a glorious, albeit very frustrating, throwback to classic top-down 1990s games. The game also features a brilliant and unforgettable synth-pop soundtrack, along with an interesting narrative about an unnamed protagonist who receives phone messages cryptically instructing him to head to various locales around Miami. Usually under the guise of business transactions, these messages end up initiating nothing short of a slaughter once the protagonist, nicknamed "Jacket," reaches his destination. From there, many more killing sprees follow, along with a twisting, winding story packed with revelations the player may or may not be ready for.

But, to be honest, while Hotline Miami is an excellent game with an excellent story and soundtrack, it isn't without faults, and these faults generally lie with the gameplay. The game is brutally difficult, and it isn't helped by the awkward and rather clunky control system that directly ties the crosshair to the player's movements instead of the other way around. In essense, you move, and the crosshair awkwardly moves with you, potentially removing it from an advancing enemy. And enemies in Hotline Miami will suicidally rush your position and kill you in one hit, no matter how many of their friends you've killed so far. What makes all of this worse is the fact that, given the game's pixellated aesthetic, the crosshair is actually remarkably easy to lose in the game's environments, making it pretty hard to pick out in the midst of the carnage that the player can inflict.

However, even with these gripes, Hotline Miami is still an enjoyable game that is definitely not worth missing and absolutely worth picking up.

Final Verdict:
I liked it.

Until next time, this is Richard,
Signing off.

P.S. Point of note: though it doesn't feature vehicular gameplay, it DOES look a lot like Grand Theft Auto: Classic.