Recent reviews by Armored Chocobo

I have no words for what I witnessed, so I had Chat write some instead:

"0/10 not skibidi toilet" - Squared-R

"I'd say it could have been be worse, but then I feel like I just had my brain pulled out of my nostrils, shoved into a woodchipper, then stuffed back in. 5/7" - SirusDiarota

"This game is a fever dream I never woke from, It's so ****ing weird and when I saw a man make out with an Alpaca I almost destroyed my laptop... 9/10 only bad when the Alpaca is not on the screen" - LordofKirby64

"My mind, my soul, the very fabric of my existence has been violated by this THING masquarading as a harmless visual novel. 7/10, too many alpacas" - RainNero

Overall Rating: Alpacas/10

I'm giving it 3% on the rating cuz it deserves 100%

There's bugs, but it's also a small dev and a recent release.

Like, there's a puzzle near the end of the game where you gotta push statues onto a conveyor belt, but also the conveyor belts move faster to thwart their fix to running speed being too slow. I managed to solve that one through clever use of the reset button, though.

There's also lots of backtracking mid-game that I feel shouldn't happen, especially if you gotta walk through an area full of enemies each time. Once in a video I made I had a mission critical item just...not work until I loaded the save.

But it made me laugh in several parts. The Hype bar and conditional boss battles is a nice change to the RPG formula. Factual information about many big wrestlers, and not just the WWF ones we all heard about. They really showed they know and love what they're talking about.

Really most of the flubs are just game maker things, and I kinda wish the game got more attention after it's rocky start in August. It's improved vastly and hopefully the dev keeps improving it.

Still early access and it's so good.

What it needs now is a way you can get to all the different areas you can explore without dying to attrition or having to use mods.

It's British Humor meets Cosmic Horror.

I expect nothing less from the same narrator that worked in Stanley Parable.

Rated positive because I almost got gamed by reading just negative reviews: The game isn't that bad! It's not a 9, but it's a solid 8.

I picked up the game despite the comments because Devolver is still updating Gungeon despite it being a year old now, surely if there's functional problems Devolver can and will fix them soon. They tend to be on the ball with that.

Here's some of the negatives I read and think that aren't true:

- "The game has lots of bugs in dungeons"

I've been in a handful of dungeons already, and the only time I almost got trapped was me trying to sequence break a puzzle using bombs and switch pylons, that's my own dumb fault.

If there are bugs, they seem pretty uncommon.

- "The intro is boring and ruins the pace"/"You have to hear Puku's annoying dialogue"

The text scrolls super-fast if you Mash A. The only pacing problem I feel is the slow walk to the gravestone to acquire your next sword once a hero dies. They should streamline that a bit. BUT that intro is like 1% of your total run and doesn't count toward your 7/5/3 days or whatever. Forgiveable.

As far as roguelite's go, death isn't much of a punishment. You lose your "toys" and stickers, but you keep your level, gold, and tokens for Serendipity.

BTW you should totally invest time in getting Serendipity as soon as possible. It definitely helps.

- "Combat is slow"

Hard disagree here. I think it's fast enough during the early-game. I think people with this complaint are expecting to enter areas they've been in before and just kill in 1-2 shots.

But if you use toys wisely you can pull off some cool combos. I used the Golf Club to ricochet enemies off walls to stun them, and they slide right into my sword, only to get re-launched if that doesn't kill them. It didn't need to be fast to look cool.

- "Grinding is a pain"

I didn't have to grind for my gold. I had 1000's of it just from finding where to go next. Not to mention you can just enter a dungeon (which freezes time) and farm in there if you're worried about the time limit so much.

- "Need to wait for coins to stop bouncing"/"You can't pick them up after beating tons of enemies"

There's plenty of time to pick up coins, and most of them are blue coins that are hardly worth the effort. Think Green Rupees: You don't need em THAT bad.

And the bounce animation is fairly short.

- "Gotta level up for a dungeon, and it wastes time"

See farming. You can level up in a dungeon, too.
Also serendipity. I'm sure you have plenty of crystals for her if you're level farming.




If anyone's a fan of Zelda and are okay with a more humorous experience, you'll like this. If you're interested and have the money, go for it. Don't listen to all the negatives.

Holy crap, a game about my own hometown! Do I have to pay myself royalties?

Anyway, played through just the prologue and I'm hooked.

I was afraid this game was gonna be a dialogue simulator, like a visual novel with some platforming or a minigame between hours of talking. I was horribly wrong. The humor and all the hidden bits to find keep it from being anything CLOSE to that.

The game is written wonderfully. Mae interjects the right quip at just the right moment to make conversations much more interesting, despite the fact that I tend to be the "silent protagonist" kind of guy. Not like conversations need help being interesting, with characters ranging from deep to Earthbound levels of odd. I like that.

I look forward to when I have time to dig into the game more.

It was okay, but since the game is making me review it to continue the open beta I'm giving it a negative review. If I want to say something about it, then I WILL. Thank you VERY much.

But I digress, the server issues can be a pain at times, and if you want to play against AI, the difficulty is pretty low. It's either "play vs real players who may or may not be lagging out before skill even comes into play" or "aww, lookit you, can't play vs players like a man?"

Make the AI harder and I'll consider it. A story mode wouldn't kill you, but since Ubisoft also runs The Division and that game seems to be equally allergic to PvE I'm gonna give a guess and say that isn't gonna happen.

Yes, you are correct. Scott CAN make games that aren't based on a pizzeria!

The platforming sections could have used some work, but the RPG battles make up for it with it's fast pace and various strategy styles with the use of FFXII gambit-like "conditionals" that change the fights to how you want them.

I just wished there was more of it, it's really short. But hey, it's free now so go at it!

If you loved EarthBound and the Mother series, this is a game you should be checking out.

It shares all the charm, humor, and character but still sets itself apart with it's action-driven storylines and unique take on RPG gameplay. A real spiritual successor.

I have a feeling you're gonna have a good time.