Be American

Wake up and eat 2000 calories of heavily processed cereal

Read mail

$100,000 fine from homeowners association for grass being 0.01 inches too long

Put on my medium size (XXXXL in Europe) suit ready for work

Get in truck ready for 3 hour drive to work

Accidentally drive 0.1 miles an hour over the limit

Pulled over by police

Immediately revive 20 rounds of 9mm ammunition to the chest due to being slightly darker than Count Dracula

Cop leaves, somehow I’m still alive

Bystander calls ambulance, I’m too weak to protest

Transported to hospital

Doctors hand me the bill

$6,800,000,000 plus a mandatory 30% tip

Shed a tear of joy at the privilege of living in the land of the free

this is what hapens when 🚨🗣️LISTEN UP🗣️🚨you 🎶music🎵SLUTS💋 it's time to 📱Spotify UNwrap😜 those 🍆♥♥♥♥♥ and get 🥩RAW DOGGING💦 Today's the day to do some 🤘😎head banging, 😮🍆GIVE HEAD and GET BANGING 👉👌Do you 🎧listen to hard rock🎸? Or do you 👅slurp some 🪨HARD ♥♥♥♥😩 Find out who 🔝TOPPED your🥇charts📈 this year and 💦♥♥♥🫦 out on 🔝TOP of DADDY'S🥵 charts with the👂sound 🔊 of that 💧WET 🍑ASS ♥♥♥♥♥ 🎤Bust a rhyme💥BUST A NUT🌰 and let it🚰STREAM😜 out of that 👄♥♥♥♥👅 Make a 📲playlist of your ❤️favorite 🌭DONGS🍆 to end 2023🥳 Share this with 5️⃣ THOTS who love 👏CLAP👏CLAP👏CLAPing👏 that 🍑ASS to their #️⃣1️⃣ song🥇 Cbat😏

He‘s exclusively consuming jizzum of large muscular bulls and gets piped by men constantly to increase testosterone intake through all holes, like a true Testosterone-maxxing Chad

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
( d | o | w | n ) ( w | i | t | h )
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
( t | h | e ) ( s | i | k | e | n | e | s | s )
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/

oh these? my boobies? my massive ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tiddies? my super stuffed up milkies? my honker donker doinky boinkies? my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? do you mean these super duper ultra ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tits?

. . . . . . . . . .. .,'´`. ,'``;
. . . . . . . . . .,`. . .`—–'..
. . . . . . . . . .,. . . . . .~ .`- .
. . . . . . . . . ,'. . . . . . . .o. .o__
. . . . . . . . _l. . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . _. '`~-.. . . . . . . . . .,'
. . . . . . .,. .,.-~-.' -.,. . . ..'–~`
. . . . . . /. ./. . . . .}. .` -..,/
. . . . . /. ,'___. . :/. . . . . .
. . . . /'`-.l. . . `'-..'........ . .
. . . ;. . . . . . . . . . . . .)-.....l
. . .l. . . . .' —........-'. . . ,'
. . .',. . ,....... . . . . . . . . .,'
. . . .' ,/. . . . `,. . . . . . . ,'_____
. . . . .. . . . . .. . . .,.- '_______|
. . . . . ',. . . . . ',-~'`. (.))
. . . . . .l. . . . . ;. . . /__
. . . . . /. . . . . /__. . . . .)
. . . . . '-.. . . . . . .)
. . . . . . .' - .......-`