Posted: March 1
First if you want to see something hilarious, go online and look up PC Gamers review of this game. It is pretty funny. They gave it a 80/100 which is a huge joke. If anything, because of that mistake, their editorial license should be permanently revoked.
Buy this for $5 or less in a sale or not at all. I'm giving it a thumbs up only because the combat is satisfying enough to be enjoyed for one playthrough. As far as the game sucking goes, people are not wrong. It has good sound, the enemies are cool, and the weapons are all decent. One of the biggest problems in the game is level design is lazy and just sucks. It is not a great game because it just feels like generic crap compared to other much better fps games. The graphics are not good at all and there are sections where your fps will drop randomly from 60 to 50 for no reason at all other than bad coding. But it doesn't happen often so the game runs smoothly for the most part. It is a run of the mill decent time if you get it for $5 or less like I did because that is about all this game is worth.
Without yet going into what everyone already knows, I can say that the gameplay could have been done much better, more specifically the level design and interaction in the game. The level design is amatuer at best and feels forced, like they were on a time constraint (which they were). The levels are bland and boring at best. Interacting with something usually consists of pressing E to start opening a door then tapping spacebar repeatedly a few times to pry it open. This mechanic has always been pointless in games and does not need to exist anymore because slamming a key on a keyboard is not considered actual gameplay, so stop using it. Pressing E once is all it should take. Other kinds of interaction include being able to pee in toilets, look in the mirrors to trigger one-liners from Duke, and some other things, all feel pretty pointless and extremely juvenile. Not that the original Duke 3d was sophisticated or anything, it just seems like they took extra pains with this game to make it embarassingly juvenile and goofy. You can also be shrunken down and have to navigate a section of a level while tiny, figuring out what to do, or even drive a RC car at one point while shrunken early on, and none of the gameplay while being shrunken is very well done or very fun at all. One thing that helped ruin the game was its self-awareness. It starts up with Duke playing his own video game then the camera pans back to show two hookers raising up as if they had been sucking him off and they say that the game looked like fun or whatever and Duke quips "after 12 ♥♥♥♥ing years it better be". Oh the irony. If Duke could have seen this game he would have kept his face shut. The game constantly refers to the original Duke Nukem 3d and all that does is make us wish we were playing it instead of this mediocre game. Duke also says quotes throughout the game taken directly from several cool movies, but it is not funny and is just awkward. The timing is really bad and it just feels juvenile and does not fit the situation. I could just see the writers for this game sitting and snickering like two 7th graders in class talking about boobs and weiners and laughing. Unlike Duke Nukem 3D, nothing he ever says in this game is funny or feels like it even should have been said at all.
The main reason this game failed is that if it were another title rather than using the Duke Nukem name, it would be a solid lesser known game, probably even a cult hit like the game Bulletstorm was. Well, probably not. Like I said this game is just average at best. But the fact that they slapped the Duke Nukem name on a only average game was a slap in the face because the original Duke 3d was so awesome. Doom was the reason I got into PC gaming back around 1996 and then I discovered Duke Nukem 3d and was instantly blown away and it left a lasting impression on me that I will never forget. Then they released this ♥♥♥♥ and I was mortified.
It is certainly not worth the $20 price tag it normally has but if you can catch it on sale for $5 like I did and just forget about it being anywhere near as good as Duke Nukem 3d, then you can have a somewhat enjoyable playthrough. Comparing it to Duke Nukem 3d which is easily a 9/10, it would only be a 5/10. Or a low borderline 6. If it were named something else and did not have anything to do with Duke Nukem, it would maybe be a 7/10. But comparing it to some other games that I have played recently, it is a 10/10. I'm talking about God awful games like Dark Sector, Velvet Assassin, and Alpha Prime, just to name a few horrifically bad games. Compared to those dog turds, yea buy this lol.