Teufort Times: Headlines and News Articles

[The Wild West Pyro]

So basically, turn what was basically your last battles into headlines for the Teufort Times!
EXAMPLES:

HUGE DEMOKNIGHT BARFIGHT AT THE SWORD AND HAY BAR AT HARVEST.

SCOUT LEGION ESCAPES FROM UNDERGROUND MENTAL ASYLUM, ATTACKS REGIMENT OF BLU SOLDIERS AT LAKESIDE.

THE RED AND BLU SPY GANGS BATTLE AT HARVEST.

ENGINEERS FIGHT FOR EYEADUCT IN A BLOODY BATTLE.

UPDATE: IF YOU HAVE THE TIME, YOU CAN WRITE A NEWS ARTICLE ABOUT AN EVENT IN TF2 FOR THE TEUFORT TIMES, VINTAGE LEDGER, GRAVEL PIT GAZETTE, DUSTBOWL DAILY, BADLANDS BUGLER, HYDRO HERALD, WELL WEEKLY, DOUBLE CROSS JOURNAL, TURBINE TRIBUNE, FORTRESS PRESS, GRAVEL STREET JOURNAL OR ANY OTHER TF2 NEWSPAPER!

[Le Fishe Au Chocolat]

RARE ENGIE MIGRATION SIGHTED AT UPWARD CANYON

[Jingle]

ENGINEER DEFENDS MANNWORKS VALIANTLY; TEAMMATES CALL "KILL-STEALER!"

[girdurloins]

BLUE TEAM PYRO ENTERS RED TEAM BASE AND SETS ENTIRE ENEMY TEAM ON FIRE ON 2FORT MAP.

http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/c/c2/Pyro_specialcompleted01.wav?t=20100625223032

[GlowBat]

SPIES GO ON STRIKE DEMANDING LESS PYROS!

[The Wild West Pyro]

THE SCOUT LEGION BATTLES THEIR BLU CLONES AT A FIERY CLASH IN THE BADLANDS.

[Jatayu]

MYSTERIOUS SOLDIER FLYING AROUND TEUFORT AIRSTRIKING INNOCENT SNIPERS

[Quantum]

THE GANGSTER HEAVY STEALS THE WIN AT DUSTBOWL!

[The Wild West Pyro]

THE RED AND BLU SPY GANGS CLASH AT BADLANDS, RESULTING IN THE REDS WINNING ALBEIT HEAVY LOSSES.

VETERANS OF THE DEMOMAN/SOLDIER WAR BATTLE AGAIN AT BADLANDS. THE SCOTS WIN THIS TIME!

THE RED AND BLU DEMOMEN DUEL OVER A PHAROAH'S BEER AT LAKESIDE.

INNOCENT ENGINEERS STATIONED AT LAKESIDE MASSACRED BY DRUNK HEAVIES, DESPITE PUTTING UP A BRAVE SENTRY DEFENSE.

[TheSignPainter]

PEACEFUL SPYCRAB MIGRATION TURNS INTO A MASSACRE AT GOLDRUSH.

[The Wild West Pyro]

JEWISH AND GERMAN MEDICS FEND OFF FANATICAL BLU NEO NAZIS AT LAKESIDE.

[Thrashtrone2000]

I got pwned(

[The Wild West Pyro]

RED APPLE ENGINEERS AND BLU WINDOWS ENGINEERS FEUD ESCALATES TO A MELEE SHOWDOWN AT LAKESIDE- APPLE VICTORIOUS.

RED AND BLU HEAVIES RIOT AT LAKESIDE OVER THE DEATH OF A MEDIC WHO WAS SAT ON BY A BLU HEAVY.

DEMOMEN FIGHT OVER THE OWNERSHIP OF A NIGHTCLUB IN KONG KING- BLUS CAPTURE THE RED NIGHTCLUB.

[The Wild West Pyro]

SCOUT LEGION BATTLES BLUS AT VIADUCT AND LOSES-SENT BACK TO ASYLUM.

[devious goon]

BILLS HAT SOLDIER MARKET GARDENING WITH INCREDIBLE PRECISION!

[The Wild West Pyro]

COMMUNIST AND AMERICAN FEUD ERUPTS INTO A HUGE BATTLE BETWEEN AMERICAN SOLDIERS AND RUSSIAN/SIBERIAN HEAVIES AT 2FORT-'MURICA WINS!