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You need to be on the same patch, have the same expansions and be using the exact same mods.
Can you share your savegame with your friend over another way (upload it somewhere, Skype, ...)? Then he just needs to put it in Documents/Paradox/Vicky2/savegames.
Else it might be a problem with establishing a good connection. With what do you play it? Per DirectIP or per another Service like Hamachi/Evolve/Tunngle?
Also make sure that your friend only joins after you loaded the save into the lobby. Else it might not work.
ful.
Just use Skype or whatever, the whole deal takes not longer than 10 seconds really.