Portal 2

Portal 2

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The Cave Johnson Rehabilitation Center for Scientific Success
   
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Description
Turns out you're one sick puppy, and your performance evaluation proves it. Not to worry - Cave's 12 step program is designed to salvage what's left of your testing initiative and get you back up to snuff.
Items (7)
Cave's Rehab #1 - Rock Bottom
Created by Gabriel Bacon
Howdy-do valued test subject. Cave Johnson here. As you know we just finished our fifth quarterly evaluation for this quarter. I'm perusing your file, and, let's be honest, there's a lot wrong here. Bottom line - you're not performing. With all your youth ...
Cave's Rehab #2 - Feelin' Small
Created by Gabriel Bacon
Cave Johnson here. I've got the results from your first step of rehabilitation. It says here you spent half the day meandering around the chamber like some kind of lost baby duck. Let me restate - you don't get paid by the hour, you get paid by the test. L...
Cave's Rehab #3 - Surrender
Created by Gabriel Bacon
Happy new year, Cave here! I don't know about you, test subject, but I'm feeling like a new dime today. Literally. We just got our end of the year profit reports and let's just say that poppa Cave is gonna be sporting a zoot suit pretty soon here. Come to ...
Cave's Rehab #4 - Introspection
Created by Gabriel Bacon
Cave here. We think we've found the problem with you - your medulla oblongata is nowhere to be found. Looks like our OR team got a little greedy when removing that faulty implant. You may have noticed a little shortness of breath lately - that's to be expe...
Cave's Rehab #5 - Nakedness
Created by Gabriel Bacon
Cave here. Due to a little oopsie in the chem lab that somehow found its way into the laundry soap, you're gonna have to do this next test naked. I figured you'd be okay with that on account of you're always acting like a damn animal. But while you're down...
Cave's Rehab #6 - Rearrange
Created by Gabriel Bacon
Yeah, this is Cave. Listen - I don't even want to know how you managed to sneak a didgeridoo down there with you in the last test, considering you didn't have any clothes on, but unfortunately I'll forever have the image of you playing it - naked - burned ...
Cave's Rehab #7 - Shortcomings
Created by Gabriel Bacon
Cave here! Good news - we got some diagnostics results back and we think we've found out what's going on with you. It turns out your blood pH is totally alkaline. We put a sample of your blood under the microscope next to some baking soda and couldn't tell...