The Different Creatures of TF2

This is a collection of the different kinds of species of TF2 players. This guide will include in-depth looks at the descriptions of the species, appearances of these species, rarity, and cosmetic loadouts.

Table of Contents

These are the different types of species we'll be discussing in this guide.
1.) The F2P
2.) The Tryhard
3.) The Friendly
4.) The Hoovy
5.) The Weeaboo
7.) The Fat Scout
8.) The Turtle Engineer
9.) The Edgelord
10.) The Pro
12.) The Kind Player
13.) The Boxcrab
14.) The Spycrab
15.) Didgeridoo Sniper
16.) Table Tantrum Heavy

The F2P

The Free-to-Play (abbreviated as F2P) is a very common species that is new to the game. They most likely just installed the game, and are often not very good at it. They commonly wear the cosmetics that come with the game, achievement hats, or nothing at all. The name "Free-To-Play" comes from them not spending any money inside of the game, therefore not having flashy/cool hats.
The Most Common F2P Cosmetics -
- The Ghostly Gibus
- The Mercenary Badge
- The Spirit of Giving
- The Pyrovision Goggles
This is what the average Free-to-Play looks like. (Depicted as Sniper)

The Tryhard

Oh, the tryhard. Sadly, they are very common in pubs. These players often way overestimate their skill level and end up looking like a jackass in the process. Their sworn enemy is the friendly, and they can not seem to comprehend what having fun is. They often get agitated EXTREMELY easily and annoy everyone in the server. They go out of their way to antagonize players who aren't as "skilled" as them, and target that player for quite some time. For some unknown reason, this species seems to taunt after every kill. The Tryhard wears very flashy clothing, often painted lime, pink, black or white. (Or any mixture of these colors.) These people often play scout, thus the term "lime scout" becoming the most popular slang when referring to tryhards.
Here is a list of common tryhard clothing:
- Max's Severed Head (All Class)
- The Troublemaker's Tosslecap (Scout)
- The War Pig (Soldier)
- Anger (Sniper)
This is what the average tryhard looks like. (Depicted as scout.)
*Note that not all tryhards look like this

The Friendly

The Friendly is a very common species in the TF2 world. They are a creature the refuses to do harm, and often crouches when walking. Most of the time, they will be extremely kind and generous players. They joke around in chat, and are (most of the time) welcome in any server. As said previously, their sworn enemy is the tryhard. There is a single exception to the rule about doing no harm, and according to friendlies, it is that "If thine tryhard attacks thee, feel free to attack thine tryhard back." (Excerpt from The Holy Book of Hoovies Chapter 7, Article IV)
They will defend fellow friendlies at any cost. The Friendly is most commonly seen as a Heavy wearing very friendly looking clothes with a sandvich in hand, but is sometimes seen as the other eight classes. (Though not as commonly.)
The Friendly often wears very bright, warm colored, kind-looking and soft clothes.
*Note all friendlies wear different things, there is no set quota. (Excluding Hoovies.)
This is what the typical friendly will appear as. ***Excluding cosmetics***
(Depicted as pyro)

The Hoovy

Ahh, the Hoovy. The Hoovy is a subset of a friendly, and are simultaneously the most common type of friendly. There is not much to say about the hoovy except for that they are extremely kind. They help out other players and joke around in chat. Hoovies always have a sandvich on hand (for healing other players or themselves) and always equip the holiday punch. All the same things that make up a friendly are the core components to a hoovy.
The Hoovy typically wears:
- The Tough Guy's Toque
- Any heavy body cosmetic
- Has the sandvich and holiday punch equipped
- Pyrovision goggles
This is what the hoovy appears like.

The Weeaboo

The Weeaboo is a mildly common TF2 species who is obsessed with a japanese cartoon form known as "anime." They always mention anime in chat, their profile picture is almost always a character from their favorite anime, and their username is ALWAYS either japanese or some anime reference. These players are relatively uncommon, but if you are looking for one you will always find them on maps like Suijin or Kong King. (Both Japanese related maps.) The Weeaboo mains Pyro because of the Pyro's relation to rainbows and how "cute" it is. Weeaboos are generally reserved creatures, but if you insult anime in general they will go out of their way to find you and kill you multiple times. It also might cause insults in chat to be said, so be warned. Also, in chat, if they come across another fellow weeaboo they will engage in an activity called "roleplaying." This is when they act like characters from their favorite animes. They also will use emoticons like ":3" or "x3" to represent emotions. It is quite a cringey act indeed. If you did not know, the "official" definition of a weeaboo according to urban dictionary is: "A weeaboo is someone who worships pretty much anything that is Japanese or related to Japanese culture. The implication is very negative and often is an accusation of wanting to 'be Japanese' (or whatever their warped perception and idealisation of Japaneseness may be)." The weeaboo almost always wears clothes that look like an anime character. Depending on their gender, their cosmetic loadouts differ drastically.
The Weeaboo most typically wears:
- Max's Severed Head
- Hong Kong Cone
- Any Japanese related clothes
- Special Eyes
- Cute Suit
- Catastrophic Companions

This is what the typical female weeaboo looks like:


This is what the typical male weeaboo looks like:

The Fat Scout

The Fat Scout is an common species of heavy that runs around with his shotgun instead of fighting with his minigun. The way the shotgun works is very similar to the scout's scattergun, therefore the nickname "Fat Scout" was created to mock Heavy's weight and the use of his shotgun. The Fat Scout often runs around in groups with other Fat Scouts singling out and taking out targets the group has decided to harass.
There is no set cosmetic combination that represents the Fat Scout, but they often wear silly clothing.
This is what the typical Fat Scout looks like:

The Turtle Engineer

The Turtle Engineer is a very common type of engineer in TF2. They arguably fall under the F2P category, but being a Turtle Engineer is dependent on skill. (Some players who aren't F2Ps can still be bad at a class.) The Turtle Engineer is literally just an engineer that builds all of his buildings in one place, seemingly in random locations. They often don't realize that this is a noob mistake, and when they're completely decimated by a decent player, they rage about it in chat. Luckily, not all turtle engineers are jerks. Some are nice players that just don't know how to play engineer. Turtle Engineers do not wear any specific clothing, so there is no set cosmetic stereotype.
This is what a Turtle Engineer's sentry nest will look like.

The Edgelord

Oh dear God these... things. They're slightly uncommon, luckily. These creatures are like tryhards + weeaboos on steroids. They cannot seem to comprehend that TF2 is a game, not real life. These people almost always have usernames like "SαυṡќεLøṿεɾ99" or "ČŔĂŴĹĨŃĞĨŃМŶŚĶĨŃ." They love music from artists like Linkin Park and Breaking Benjamin, or any "emotional", edgy, angry, post-grunge garbage music.
These "Edgelords" often main Sniper because they think that they're "badass" or "edgy" when they play him. Their cosmetic loadouts usually reflect this.
This is what the typical edgelord wears:
- Spooktacles
- Anger
- Bedouin's Bandanna
- Bruiser's Bandanna / Villain's Veil
- Chronomancer / Triggerman's Tacticals
This is what the typical edgelord looks like:

The Pro

The Pro is an interesting species of player. They're actually quite rare. Their emotions seem to vary depending on personality, and they don't often type in chat, so it's hard to determine certain stereotypes. They main whatever class they feel they like the most, and are most likely extremely skilled and dedicated players. They only exert dominance if a player gets angry after being killed and complains in chat, calling them a "hacker" or a "cheater." They don't wear flashy clothing either because they understand that it gives their position away faster. For some reason, they often wear any cosmetic that makes their player hat-less. They can also wear competitive TF2 badges & medals.
Common cosmetics a pro wears:
-Ritzy Rick's Hair Fixative (Sniper)
-Texas Slim's Dome Shine (Engineer)
-Baseball Bill's Sports Shine (Scout)

This is what the typical "Pro" looks like.

The Kind Player

The Kind Player is just an average TF2 player. They seem to be pretty common. There is no skill level or cosmetic loadout that seperates them from the rest of the TF2 fanbase. They're just kind players that care about the community and defend their fellow players. They always make friends in chat, they're not afraid to joke, and they are NO MATTER WHAT always kind to anyone in the server, even if they're being picked on by them. These players are just cool people looking to have fun.

There is no cosmetic stereotype, therefore I will not depict this type of player.

The Boxcrab

The Boxcrab is an extremely rare type of TF2 species. Their population is dwindling, and less and less of them are being spotted in pubs. Fortunately, scientists have preserved their DNA samples in case of total extinction. If that ever, these scientists will recreate the population. Luckily, boxcrab scientists have seemingly reported that population statistics are rising again, so the backup DNA might not be necessary. Hopefully we can continue this trend. Boxcrabs are a rare offshoot of the species called "Spycrabs." They are less common than spycrabs, though. There is no set cosmetic loadout for Boxcrabs, and there only posession is their box, which also serves as their home. When they are seen in game, they often are spotted in herds.
This is what the typical Boxcrab herd appears as.

The Spycrab

The Spycrab, ahh, the Spycrab. A Spycrab is a very rare species of players. They are named "Spycrabs" because of their crab-like walk. They're the poster child for many different friendly protection groups because of their rare nature. They're considered an endangered species and are occasionally spotted in pubs. They do nothing but walk around in their natural form. That is all. Nothing else to say, really. They're pretty cool, I guess. I don't really know...
This is what the typical Spycrab looks like.


P.S. These spycrabs are also targeted in pubs by Tryhards, Weeaboos, and Edgelords. For some reason, they really just don't like them...

The Didgeridoo Sniper

The Didgeridoo Sniper is a mildly rare type of creature. They're often find hiding in corners of the map where nobody would expect them to be. They do nothing but play their didgeridoo and enjoy the scenery. Occasionally, when other snipers see these players they also get out their didgeridoo and play it with them. Their population is not declining, but it doesn't seem to be increasing either. There is no set cosmetic loadout for them. They are just some random sniper dudes playing their Didgeridoos.
This is what the typical Didgeridoo Sniper looks like.

The Table Tantrum Heavy

The Table Tantrum Heavy is a mildly common form of a friendly. They're often seen at hoovy picnics, and often wear nice, colorful clothes. They don't seem to have any personality stereotypes, but they do defend their fellow hoovy brethren when in danger. They always invite their fellow Hoovies to a picnic. That's it, honestly. Oh yeah, and they like vodka. Lot's o' vodka.
This is what the Table Tantrum Heavy looks like.

Conclusion

IN CONCLUSION.
This was my first guide, so please critique me lightly. I hope you guys found it mildly entertaining. If you would like me to add something to the guide, please let me know in the comments. This took me a while to make, so I'd appreciate some feedback! Thanks!

[МорсГримМ]

✝ Edge lord 2010/2023 ✝

[Theda Big]

you forgot about the content creator, wannabe, and medic/soldier relationship

[foxbyrd]

2020 sucks
:(

[foxbyrd]

lol wtf i forgot about this, made this when i was like 12

[Deniz31]

engineer gaming

[DigitalFreeman]

Love the guide, have you done any other guides?

[DigitalFreeman]

@Not Big Surprise
Well not all soldier hats are-
ok yeah pretty much, except Muselk as well when he switches from OW to TF2.
Because Soldier has some nice Hats and thats why muselk and SoundSmith wear them.
Because some hats are really just good hats and soldiers who play TF2 like to wear good hats.
Soundsmith covered that in his soldier video.

[Scrumptious_]

I only like Villian’s Veil because of the Smooth Assassin Pattern.

[Not Big Surprise]

Any Soldier hat means tryhard. Except for SoundSmith's hat.

[Cyro]

@Nick Fox You forgot the flamedeer